i've been having a few conversations about dependable friends with couple of my friends and it just made me realise how lonely i was; because when we actually boil it down to the actual tight bunch of buddies that we have to stick with us through our lives, i realised only have one, or very very few.

and it just made me feel so lost because all of a sudden, it felt as though i had no friends at all, and that all my friendships were superficial ones.
and i suppose the tightest bonds are formed during secondary school.
the time where your personality is transforming and you're learning to find yourself, and these are the people that were around you during that change, during that search for self identity.

and so, all the more, i think i should make an effort to keep in touch and treasure these friendships.
until i make them friends for life, friends that i'll never forget even in my old age.
and perhaps, during our old age, we'd still meet up.

but of course change is inevitable. as we grow up, we have less and less friends.
circumstances force friendships and people apart.
when some go overseas, the bonds are strained and weakened, and perhaps the friendship can never be the same again.
when we're all out in the working world, difference in status, work environment, etc will tear friends apart.

as much as the phrase 'friends forever' is easy to say and write, and hope and believe in, it perhaps isn't true.
because right now, as students, our status is the same and our scope of the world narrow.
so we have merely confined ourselves into this small cubicle, protected by walls of innocence, and surrounded by the security of friends.

but once we grow up, and our exposure to the outside world is widened, things will change against our wills.
as much as we'd like to say materialism does not matter, it does.
our friends now may not be our friends in the future because of difference in status.
rich friends would perhaps have better opportunities and connections, or perhaps inheritance of businesses, and this elevates their status at a young age.
their activities and ability to do certain things would most definitely be different from an ordinary joe and jane who used to be their friend.
ordinary joes and janes would not have the same opportunities and chances because of monetary problems, and would have to slog from a lower step of the corporate ladder.
this difference in status, and cash in the pocket, leads to different lifestyles.
and all these would tear friends apart because if both do not lead the same lifestyle, how do they continue being friends without sharing the same lives?

so its really kept me in fear that i may lose all the friends i have now.
that my very best friend right now, may not be my friend in the future.
so all the more, i have to make an effort to hold on to all that i have now.
of course i have to learn to let go when its inevitable, but i guess all i wanna say is treasure the friendships, because friendships go a long way.
as we grow older, fewer friends we have.
and its so important that we know who will be there for us, and strengthen those bonds, so in the future, they would be unbreakable.
because friends go a LONG way :)