today was a day where i woke up with this sinking dread and premonition that the day would drift on slowly and badly.
a look at my timetable confirmed it.
however, strangely, i made it through the day, not slowly or terribly.
of course it does seem cowardly to cower from the day even before its started, and cowardly i am; but unusually brave i was to storm through the day, although i had no intention of being brave.
the necessity and absolute must of handing up my CAP form must have played an incredibly great part in driving me through the day.
and i must say the free period at the beginning of the day did help somewhat in relaxing my tense muscles and gave some form of entertainment and acted as a stress-reliever to my narrow, biased mind towards terrible thursdays.
of course the notion that thursdays are the most terrible days of the week still stands.
namely, double math lecture, math tutorial, double econs tutorial, chinese, lit classes, pe AND physical training after school yadayadayada.
yes, basically all the activities that sap the energy from your brain and the active juices of your muscles, leaving you mentally and physically drained.
CAP portfolio comments from people were fairly pleasing, although being labelled "lesbian writer" is not particularly flattering or encouraging. especially when the thought of being sent for counselling is niggling at the back of your brain. and especially if you are not lesbian, have no kinky tendencies whatsoever.
of course, comments from people like shane, that my poems would not make the cut because they weren't deep enough, were deeply insulting.
but, spiteful as i am feeling after those nasty but perhaps well-intended (or maybe a slip of the tongue??) comments by shane, i shall say that shane is a writer of prose, and is somewhat pretentious, thinking that orbs of radiant sun that burn and flame with luster in the sky is deep, while my poems are not.
if he is reading this i am dead, so i'd better apologise now because i don't mean that.
i've worked hard on the pieces i'd chosen for my portfolio and it is my best, and if i don't make it, so be it.
in an effort to shed the pounds, i heeded terence's advice and stayed away from carbo.
i was feeling mighty pleased at my own self-restraint and upset as i was about training (because i had to run like a mad dog), i was cheered up slightly at the prospect of burning away those calories.
in an attempt to vary physical training routes and routines, fongchi suggested jogging to holland v and it did seem like a pretty good idea because holland v was far enough for us to cover a respectable distance, but at the same time, it wasn't too far til my guts would spill out from the heavy panting and there would be traffic lights to stop and rest at.
however, dear stella, led us to a roundabout route, that i am pretty sure she has no idea where it would take us.
as she so frankly and innocently (??) put it, "I followed the clouds!"
so thanks to her nature instincts, we were led down the pavement and panting past buildings that did not look the least bit familiar to me.
it wasn't until we turned around a corner and i saw the oh so familiar acs(i) bustop when i realised stella had led us a very long and complicated route round the school and from there, we'd adjourn to holland v, by foot may i add.
but whatever little euphoria and satisfaction i gained from that run was squelched when i very happily ordered a chocolate fudge sundae with chopped peanuts.
$1.30 courtesy of yvonne :)
after, liz and i took a very, very leisurely stroll back to school which took 45 minutes.
and i must say we had a very light and heartening conversation.
hmm, so my day wasn't so bad, although it was interrupted by little clashes of others that did mix themselves up with my thoughts.
it is very disturbing.
not disturbing because it is disturbing, but disturbing in the way that i am disturbed because it shouldn't disturb me but it has.
it makes me wonder how people see one another.
how people can generally look at one person in one way, while others view them totally differently.
and how some people can have everything except a one very important factor that would serve to make them different from the rest.
it makes me wonder if i am so wrapped up in myself sometimes that i do not see what is going on.
i feel it with my instincts (however weak they are) but i choose to wrap myself up in blinded security.
it makes me feel small and insignificant, blind and stupid.
but i'll come to terms with it eventually, like i always do.
and you know what?
i think i have come to terms with it already.
btw, darius, i hope you've found your wallet and your bag is VERY VERY heavy.
and.. who's frinn? who is anon i believe.
but, real name please.
a look at my timetable confirmed it.
however, strangely, i made it through the day, not slowly or terribly.
of course it does seem cowardly to cower from the day even before its started, and cowardly i am; but unusually brave i was to storm through the day, although i had no intention of being brave.
the necessity and absolute must of handing up my CAP form must have played an incredibly great part in driving me through the day.
and i must say the free period at the beginning of the day did help somewhat in relaxing my tense muscles and gave some form of entertainment and acted as a stress-reliever to my narrow, biased mind towards terrible thursdays.
of course the notion that thursdays are the most terrible days of the week still stands.
namely, double math lecture, math tutorial, double econs tutorial, chinese, lit classes, pe AND physical training after school yadayadayada.
yes, basically all the activities that sap the energy from your brain and the active juices of your muscles, leaving you mentally and physically drained.
CAP portfolio comments from people were fairly pleasing, although being labelled "lesbian writer" is not particularly flattering or encouraging. especially when the thought of being sent for counselling is niggling at the back of your brain. and especially if you are not lesbian, have no kinky tendencies whatsoever.
of course, comments from people like shane, that my poems would not make the cut because they weren't deep enough, were deeply insulting.
but, spiteful as i am feeling after those nasty but perhaps well-intended (or maybe a slip of the tongue??) comments by shane, i shall say that shane is a writer of prose, and is somewhat pretentious, thinking that orbs of radiant sun that burn and flame with luster in the sky is deep, while my poems are not.
if he is reading this i am dead, so i'd better apologise now because i don't mean that.
i've worked hard on the pieces i'd chosen for my portfolio and it is my best, and if i don't make it, so be it.
in an effort to shed the pounds, i heeded terence's advice and stayed away from carbo.
i was feeling mighty pleased at my own self-restraint and upset as i was about training (because i had to run like a mad dog), i was cheered up slightly at the prospect of burning away those calories.
in an attempt to vary physical training routes and routines, fongchi suggested jogging to holland v and it did seem like a pretty good idea because holland v was far enough for us to cover a respectable distance, but at the same time, it wasn't too far til my guts would spill out from the heavy panting and there would be traffic lights to stop and rest at.
however, dear stella, led us to a roundabout route, that i am pretty sure she has no idea where it would take us.
as she so frankly and innocently (??) put it, "I followed the clouds!"
so thanks to her nature instincts, we were led down the pavement and panting past buildings that did not look the least bit familiar to me.
it wasn't until we turned around a corner and i saw the oh so familiar acs(i) bustop when i realised stella had led us a very long and complicated route round the school and from there, we'd adjourn to holland v, by foot may i add.
but whatever little euphoria and satisfaction i gained from that run was squelched when i very happily ordered a chocolate fudge sundae with chopped peanuts.
$1.30 courtesy of yvonne :)
after, liz and i took a very, very leisurely stroll back to school which took 45 minutes.
and i must say we had a very light and heartening conversation.
hmm, so my day wasn't so bad, although it was interrupted by little clashes of others that did mix themselves up with my thoughts.
it is very disturbing.
not disturbing because it is disturbing, but disturbing in the way that i am disturbed because it shouldn't disturb me but it has.
it makes me wonder how people see one another.
how people can generally look at one person in one way, while others view them totally differently.
and how some people can have everything except a one very important factor that would serve to make them different from the rest.
it makes me wonder if i am so wrapped up in myself sometimes that i do not see what is going on.
i feel it with my instincts (however weak they are) but i choose to wrap myself up in blinded security.
it makes me feel small and insignificant, blind and stupid.
but i'll come to terms with it eventually, like i always do.
and you know what?
i think i have come to terms with it already.
btw, darius, i hope you've found your wallet and your bag is VERY VERY heavy.
and.. who's frinn? who is anon i believe.
but, real name please.
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