weird dream last night.
dreamt we were in the ACJC building and it was an international school.
we were at the void deck and there was sudden news of terrorists planting a bomb in the school.
everyone was in a flurry and i was running around with mich sue rage and jame and my sister(?).
then the bomb exploded in one of the drains and apparantly there was this girl stuck inside (she happened to be some girl i was arguing with during math class or smth like that. she doesn't exist in real life)
everyone was so worried about her so all her angmo friends dashed to the drain to see if she was still alive and she was only mildly injured.
then the carried her out and started chanting in one long row out of school WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!
ok told you it was a weird dream.

anyway was just thinking, everyone wants to be just that little bit prettier, slimmer, sexier, hotter.. you get my drift.
because by the world's standards, if we're just that little bit better looking, opportunities come in abundance.
you could pursue a career in modeling or acting, people are imperceptibly more drawn to you and that makes things a whole lot easier.
even my dad says so.
he said, in the world out there, it's more important for a girl to be pretty than smart.
because you might not be cleverer than the pigarseface who sits next to you, but then with a prettier face, there's a tendency for you to get the deals.

which is probably why so many people seek to have that perfect face or perfect body.
and now modern technology gives them the solution: plastic surgery.

and i used to think plastic surgery was okay and i wouldn't mind going for it if i had the dough.
but then after watching I Want a Famous Face yesterday, i think i'd NEVER EVER go for plastic surgery.
and it's not for any ethical, moral reasons whatsoever, but simply because i don't think i could stand the pain and the idea of my body being manhandled so ruthlessly is inconceivable.
watching the show was seriously O.M.G.
the way the doctor sluiced the skin using the long knife, slicing it IN OUT IN OUT.. all i did was cringe and close my eyes.

and when they wheeled the girl out of the operating theatre, she was in so much pain her tears never ceased to flow and she murmured This is so not worth it..
however, later on, when she was examining her much bigger and fuller boobs and slimmer liposuctioned thighs, she kept gushing This is SO worth it. I'd never have to stuff my bra again or feel inferior when i enter bikini competitions..

and it just made me wonder is that really the only way we seem to be measured?
how we look?
that our lives can turn around just by changing our bra size?!
i find many imperfections in the way i look and if i could painlessly rectify it, i'd fix this and that and this and that.
just like those photoshop things, a swipe of a mouse and the freckle is gone.
but it seems so superficial to measure things that way.
and even all the more superficial and low to measure ourselves that way.
we only think we look worse because we always compare with the person next to us.

and i guess sure, being pretty helps a whole lot.
but then i don't think being just that little bit prettier will turn things around.
maybe it'll drive our lives down a different direction, but we might not be happy.

and right now, i don't want to be just that little bit prettier, slimmer, sexier, hotter, etc.
i just want to be just that little bit sweeter and better inside.

i tried to discover a little something to make me sweeter