I don't know if it's just the Alevels of whatever, but everything seems dimmer and I've been disillusioned.
somehow there are cracks and loose ends everywhere accumulated over the last two years.
I wish I could clean up all the damages but yet I don't have the energy to do so or sustain it.

I find myself not being able to say alot of things anymore.
I find myself not being able to believe in alot of things anymore.
and I find myself not being able to tie the before and after together.
somehow, when you're in the process of change, estrangement takes place and you can't reconcile the old you and the new you.
you haven't lost the old you but yet you have a new you.

and that's the trouble with most things,
you can't reconcile the past and the present.
and what more, the future.

what a whirlwind these last two years have been.

sometimes I don't even think I recognise my life two years ago.