this is for TANYONGXI, the love of my life <3

becoming an increasingly lazy blogger and I've settled into a paradoxical abyss of feeling like I'm working hard but yet not working very hard.
if you get what I mean.

arg, SATs tomorrow and the paper is getting longer and harder (in my opinion).
and it doesn't help that with the old SAT my math is lower than an average singaporean!
then after the dreadful A's in november I'll meet up with SATs II in december.

I finally did my ACJC portfolio yesterday and I realised my squash experience in ACJC was a lot more interesting that I'd thought it was.
made me reminisce about the MG squash days.
and especially with the reviewing of my leadership experience.

even though I faced, perhaps, a lot less trials in MGS as a leader, I certainly felt more respected, more involved and more effective.
somehow, I felt like I was in the midst of things doing all I could and reaping results.
even if they weren't material ones, I'd felt that inner satisfaction.
but somehow, in ACJC, it was a constant battle between myself, the situation and my waning desire and optimism.
it never felt right.
sometimes, it felt like the worst part of my JC experience.

but then after doing my ACJC portfolio, I realised all the trials and tribulations made my experience as a leader, one heck of an experience.
even though I didn't gain the satisfaction and enjoyment I thought I'd derive from striving to do my best.

okay, perhaps I'm trying to find a bright point in my portfolio because after reviewing my uni apps, I'm feeling woefully inadequate.

anyway, moving on,
I realised I always blog about the same old things.
so I decided yesterday during econs lect with the love of my life yongxi, I'd blog about my old pet: Hammy the hamster who was basically the most unbelievable pet in the whole wide world.
and I don't mean that in a complimentary manner.

so, let's begin.
Hammy lived with Zammy in a two storey cage. Hammy was fat and Zammy was thin. Hammy was what I labelled a stupid, lazy, cute hamster while Zammy was the clever, active, not-so-cute hamster.
so every night, Hammy would follow Zammy on the exercise wheel and attempt to keep up with Zammy's pace but then because he's so fat and slow, he always gets kicked off.

one night, I very stupidly left the cage open and Zammy, being the adventurous one, fled into a stormy night.
while I found Hammy shivering outside my house door.
being the only hamster left, Hammy would occasionally ride the exercise wheel and regularly bring food up into his sleeping house.
however as time went by, his exercise regime dwindled into nothing and his days were spent hoarding food in his sleeping area.

sounds lazy?
well, it gets worse.
Hammy soon stopped hoarding food into his sleeping area but decided to comfortably make his life easier by SLEEPING IN HIS FOOD POT!
so this fat cute lazy hamster would sleep in his food pot, wake up, eat and sleep, eat and sleep, eat and sleep, pee poo in the food pot, eat and sleep, eat and sleep..
and live the life of the laziest hamster ever.

ok, the end.

by the way, smokey bit me today and IT HURTS.