didnt go to school today.. cause i slept at 3 and i dreaded the thought of having to survive school. i had a real hard time falling asleep last night. i think it all started because of my bloody nightmare. when i woke up i had this unsettling feeling. and although i was dog tired i couldnt fall asleep because i felt really unsettled. i cant describe the feeling but its this weird uneasy feeling in ur chest. yeah it constricts sometimes and i jes feel scared and i cant relax and well i jes couldnt fall asleep. so when i finally fell asleep, it was 3am. and i was due to wake up in three hours. i jes couldnt.

until now.. im still feeling rather unsettled. but i did have a rather good nap jes now. i guess its cause im tired. woke up at 11.. finished up my aprime hmwk, lunched and snoozed for a good 3andahalf hours after that. woke up to my handphone ringing. yeah.. it was eric on his oral exam. oral exams are starting to sound pretty hard. im getting worried.

okay so tried studying organic chem cause i totally suck at that.. i keep forgetting how to name and identify those weird structures and the various reactions and catalysts and whathaveyou. hmm got amath tuition later. i kinda like math tuition.. i dont know. weird huh.. i jes feel veryvery accomplished after that. well partly cause mr kok is a really good teacher and he made me like math (GET THIS.) well i dont love it to bits but i dont mind doing it.. i dont loathe it like i used to. finished the rgs paper. thought paper 1 was pretty hard. paper 2 was better.

i think ive lost weight.. i feel lighter.. less fat.. blahblah but the weighing scales dont say so. it doesnt matter. as long as i think i look like i've lost weight. haha. its so unfair. my sister is taller and lighter than me. she's much taller, and much lighter than me. well some people have seen her and they say she's so skinny.. but shes not bone thin.. u know the kind of skinny slim that actually looks good? yeah.. inferiority complex coming in here.. haha yeah shes prettier.. thinner.. smarter.. more considerate than me. i am the one that my parents have so much trouble bringing up. actually i dont think i turned out so bad but compared to my sis im like some mouthswearing inconsiderate fat stupid creature. ohweell.. i do like to think that i am better than her in some aspects.. but its not like im that much better.. or it jes doesnt matter. i am not going to discuss sensitive or personal issues on my blog. its so exposing. haha.

i am pmsing. i can feel my emotions going up and down.. up and down. yeah.. this afternoon i was feeling angry, pissed, angsty whatever u want to call it and ugh. after i woke up from my nap.. i was (actually still am) feeling maudlin and weell when i heard the opening notes of i believe (my sassy girl) from my computer speakers i thought i was gonna start crying. so to help me get back to normalcy.. im listening to my way by limpbizkit. gosh it helps.

havent watched anime in a long time. i miss it. or read manga. i dont dare start cause its such a bad time with prelims and the o's coming up. but i really really miss it but i jes KNOW that once i start i'll never stop. and il jes go crazy reading/watching it day and night, losing my sense of time and space.

i need release!!! ugh. i feel like ive got tons cooped up inside of me except i dont know what it is.. bloody pms. hope i get it over and done with for the month. sick of feeling like a deranged teenager with no control over her stupid emotions. blaaarrghhhh.

word of the day: egghead n (colloquial) an intellectual person
use of word of the day: i'm an egghead *beams*

looks like we cant go round carelessly calling people egghead anymore :D ohoh! i know i said only one word per day.. but haha this word is so cute.

extra word of the day: canoodle v (colloquial) kiss and cuddle
use of extra word of the day: i havent figured out how to form my sentence without adding -ed or -ing to the word so nevermind. help me think of one :)