i think in some ways, a blog is really like a skewed mirror.
i've been reading blogs for years and subconsciously you build up expectations and notions of a person based on what you read.

but then what you see of a person in his or her blog isn't necessarily what they really are like outside.
i know people who make hilarious wisecracks and are basically the life of a group who sound eerily melancholic on their blogs.
and people who appear absolutely senseless on their blogs are actually well.. people who make plenty of sense.

and all that makes you wonder what do people perceive of you just by reading your blog.
it seems unjustified when people make assumptions about you just by reading your blog because you know your multi-faceted self and their assumptions are usually skewed or extreme.
and it's almost impossible for anyone to reveal every facet of their personality.

i think i've been trying not to judge.
in the past i used to judge without even knowing i was judging.
it seemed so easy to pass off comments.
but then, i'm seeking some sort of change now.
and i hope in time, people will look at me and at the shumin a couple of years ago and notice the improvement.

generally, i've never wholly believed in the phrase it doesn't matter what people think of you.
it's a great byline for self-confidence, but i think it blocks out room for improvement.
certainly, criticisms should not be taken to heart, but i've always believed it does matter what people think of you because how you perceive yourself may not be in line with how others perceive you, and should it call for a change, then listening to others' constructive comments isn't a bad thing.
i don't think it's compromising who you are, but more like smoothening the rough ends to become a more complete person.

econs today was neither bad nor fantastic.
i think i did okay.
let's just hope i did better than okay since math was absolutely disastrous.

it's e1 tomorrow and.. ohwell i'm trying to be an optimist.