i think the more self-expression is promoted, the less we seem to be able to express ourselves.
it's like all these outlets have made us spoilt for choice and we end up in a state of apathy.

was thinking about what we discussed during lit about expletives in The Things They Carried and it made me wonder why people swear.
i mean in lit we saw it as a form of repression, where there was instant closure to a topic and a lack of real words to express the enormity of emotion.
and in some ways, i guess it's pretty similar.
i mean nothing beats saying, "SHIT THAT WAS DAMN GOOD."
it's as if the crudeness and crassness has washed away all discriminating levels of expression rendering it effective and of maximum impact.

but either way, effective or not, i don't particularly encourage it.
because i'm sure we're capable of using real words to express ourselves rather than packaging our emotions into one neat word! or not so neat word.

and i suppose the same goes for song lyrics.
the enormity of our feelings seem to elude us of words till we resort to borrowing.
but i have nothing against song lyrics.
in fact, i quite like them!
i guess song lyrics make us feel as though someone out there is thinking the very same thing we're thinking, feeling the very same thing we're feeling, but expressing what we cannot express.
i just think there's a fervent need for lucid expression.
because now, even i have been a victim or saying, "oh shit. i felt damn what."
like hmm, what? WHAT?
yes precisely, what.

right now, i seem to be doing all the things i don't like to do and not doing all the things i like to do.
i like watching tv. but i don't anymore.
but that's because i'm forced by the awful programme selection.
i like to read. but i don't anymore.
because i have no new books and i need to finish my lit books (return of the native! which is quite hard. the words swim around.)
i like to bum online. i still do. but i don't enjoy it.
i like to talk to the people i like to talk to. but i haven't been doing that. just because.
i love to eat. but my house has suddenly been depleted of food. it doesn't even have RIBENA!
and i don't like ********. but i still go.
i don't like homework. but i try to do it.
and i don't like being bored and lonely. but i am.