so today was the first time I had a sincerely good catch up with joan and cass, both whom I haven't had a proper talk with in ages.
and I've come to the conclusion that joan and I still are on the same wavelength on just about most levels because she's the only one that laughs at my stupid jokes.
and with cass, it's the everlasting trust and comfort, where I don't have to talk to her often but we always talk up a real storm when we actually do.

I think this has been a week of friendships.
a week of answering the questions that lie thickly in the air, a week of tying loose ends and a week of realising that though many things change, I've got myself this set of real friendships that I want to keep and maintain for life.

in just a matter of months we'll be stepping out of the door and into a new phase of our lives.
and there's much trepidation and anxious attempts to close the many chapters of our past lives and secure the chains of relationships.
perhaps, I can't deny that a little part of me will always clamour for the good old days but if you don't move along with life, life will move on without you and whip you round.

and church recently has been quite good.
He has really answered :)

and you know, a couple of days ago when I was very bored and melancholy, I came up with a code and had wanted to post a sentence on my blog.
but I think after a few days of reflection, this is what I want to post instead.
(hurhur, to make it harder for you to decipher I'm going to join all the words up!)

jibwfgjobmmztffodmptvsf. qsbjtfcfuphpe.

:)

anyway, lately there seems to be lots of issues I'm grappling with.
I think in some ways I've reared up a defense mechanism which is to defend myself even when I know I'm partially wrong.
such as, if I know I've said something not so pleasant in response to something which I don't think is very pleasant either, I will defend myself, half knowing that I am partially wrong.
perhaps it's the mentality that if I give in, I'll have lost and the other party would think they are totally right.
I think I try to seek a balance in most things.
my most ideal conversation and sense of compromise is to admit I am wrong, but the other party has to do likewise.
but it usually isn't the case, resulting in me not admitting that I'm wrong when I know I am.

I think the whole issue of judgement is very touchy.
and I think it's something I don't think I can express cogently and coherently.
because, unknowingly, those who talk about judgement end up sounding very judgemental even when they don't mean to.
something I think I'm guilty of sometimes.

on a much less somber note, I BOUGHT SIX BOOKS TODAY!
and that makes me very happy.
books never ever fail you.
why?

1. if you ever get sick of them, you can always shut them up and chuck them in a corner.
2. there's always closure, or an ending.
3. there's nothing to hide because everything is in the book.
4. books empower you with knowledge.
5. and books never ever leave you (with the exception of my Elvis book. it disappeared all of a sudden)

anyway, nigel bought me something very embarrassing but I must admit I am secretly quite pleased!
ha ha ha :)

shuling cass joans and i (I like the way cass looks like she is bodyless)


joaaans! people say we look alike!


and I know I'm starting to sound like a broken recording about the blogger buttons, but they are really gone.
everyday I open blogger in hope that the buttons would miraculously materialize in front of me..