I'd always been a fighter of some sort, fighting for what I want, fighting to win and fighting for what I believe in.

Squash taught me alot about tenacity and determination, about pushing forward despite the bundles of pain you're dragging along with your feet.

Endless quarrels taught me alot about fighting for what you believe in, accepting but yet not wavering.

Everything around me taught me to try, try and try again, to always believe and never give up and always fight.

But lately, I feel like I can't fight anymore.
I feel like I can't compete with the endless invisible possibilities, I feel like no matter what I do it's never enough and doesn't change a thing, and I feel like giving up.

But the thing is, I don't know how to give up.
And everyday, I'm fighting to give it up and no matter what, it wears me down all the same.

I want to wake up one morning, and know that I don't carry weights on my feet and burdens on my back any longer and that when I smile, I smile because I'm happy and not because I have to.
(edit)

Actually, thanks to my favourite project FIB mate, I'm actually feeling cheered up.
And the retrospectively funny memory of the currently bald Smokey pissing down my leg is putting a funny little smile on my face.

-

But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world

I will learn to survive