self help books are quite effective! i'm reading one called EAT THAT FROG! and i havent quite finished it, but i tried applying some of its methods and i must say it does produce rather interesting results. one thing they emphasise greatly on is to write down your goals, be it daily or yearly and plan on it. and it does work! because like the book says, writing down your plans and goals give your ideas tangible form. A goal or objective that is not in writing is merely a wish or a fantasy. hmm how right.

so i created a daily timetable kinda thing. yeaps.. and another point i was reading about is taking one step at a time. cause recently i've been so overwhelmed by all the work i dont know and have to do and whatnot. and this morning, i woke up early to skip (in efforts of clearing my head and losing some weight.. i did 1500 haha!) and i was thinking how right it was. cause i remembered when mr koh used to tell us to skip 2000 we would be like whaaaat! and i used to get so tired and lazy while skipping cause i was counting to 2000 and it seemed like a daunting job. but sometime in sec3 i shifted my skipping plans and i started to skip 200 at a time. and i finished my skips pretty quickly and i didnt feel very tired at all! so.. yup.

but the bottom line is.. all these self help books can only help you discover and realise your weaknesses and introduce or suggest methods to you but the real test, the mountain to overcome is really yourself. yeah.. like i can start writing down my daily goals and plans.. but what good is it to start if i can't sustain? yeaps.. so one step at a time. i can do it. i am a disciplined athlete!! (ok very unfit and lousy at squash now.. but still)

tmr's commendation awards. hope my mother can come.. so i dont hafta take bus home.. haha. and besides its nice having my mother there while i take my award. hope she's not too appalled by my very unflattering picture. i showed my sis and she collapsed in giggles. yes its a VERY retarded picture. i was gonna say smth but i forgot.. oh oh yes.. the video they're gonna show tomorrow has really meaningful words.. haha. it does really.

"I am an athlete not because i know what it's like to win; but because i know what's like to lose." how right is that! and so far i've never ever gotten first for anything. and i mean ANYTHING. in squash.. cdiv we got bronze (first time in four years?? how disappointing!) and last year we got bronze again (bdiv that is) and this year i was sooo determined we wouldn't get bronze again.. but cause scgs was too good for us i was targeting a silver which we did get.. but it was hard earned. yeah those awful rgs games where the WHOLE team was suffering from muscle pulls cause mr koh made us do hill sprints couple of days ago! it was horrible horrible. lydia won by ONE point.. 5setter. so did alison. and ta won easily. and mine.. mine was a total washout. with two injured legs.. i lost 3-2 and i was really really upset cause i knew i could have beaten her 3-0 if not for those awful cramped legs. okay haha sounds like sour grapes. and the ny game as well.. but ohwell that's all in the past. for grades.. i 've never been first for anything either. ohwell. i really wanna know what its like to be a gold medallist. to know that your team is THE BEST..to know that you beat everyone else.. you knocked down all hurdles in your way, you fought like a fighter, gave it your best to emerge the BEST of the lot.. i really wanna know what its like. hopefully when i go acjc, we'll get a gold.. well provided i actually make it into acjc and if i do.. provided i make it into top7 which means after o's i gotta train like hell. but.. yes.. if not for all these failures.. dont think it makes up who i am. to win, you have to lose.