The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom i take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation.
He is my stronghold, my refuge, my saviour.
2 Samuel 22:2-3

there's always this fear of submitting and surrendering to God.
because we're always afraid that what God wants for us is not what we want.
but remember that God loves you and He knows what's best for you.
He is your rock
your fortress
your deliverer
your shield
the horn of your salvation
your stronghold
your refuge
and your saviour.

always lean on Him because we can't do things on our own.

this verse is very real to me because i know this is God's living word and He has spoken to me.
i feared surrendering.
because i was so scared that God's plan wasn't what i wanted.
and what i wanted, i wanted so much it hurt.
that i didn't give it up to God.

and i made it really hard on myself.
the emotional burden it weighed on my heart combined with the physical pressures of the season made me want to breakdown.
and thinking about it, i felt like i was on the verge of breaking down.
my mind wasn't my own anymore and i cried so much i didn't have control over myself.

and on sunday night, when i had a tide of problems to overcome, someone msged me this verse and said she felt God wanted her to tell me that.
at that point of time i knew it was God's way of comforting me, but it didn't make me feel any better because i still had no answers.

the next day at chapel, we sang a song.
and the powerpoint put up had highlighted several words in green in contrast to the rest of the lyrics in white.
the words were
my rock
my shield
my refuge
my stronghold
my saviour

God was comforting me again!

back home, i suddenly received a message from a friend who didn't know what i was going through.
and she asked if i wanted her to pray for me.
and i did.
and she told me "this came to me all of a sudden, but sing in your heart, worship Him because the joy of the Lord is your strength!"

and i played a song on my computer at random.
and this song went "my refuge, my stronghold, always with You".
He is truly our refuge, our stronghold and our faithful one!

i knew God was reaching out to me at this point of time.
He spoke to me THREE TIMES.
and i knew that God wanted me to submit everything to Him even though it was so hard.

so i prayed.
i prayed that God would pull me through, that He would reveal His plan to me, help me to let go, help me to surrender my burden to Him, help me to trust that His plan is perfect.
and then the same friend who asked if i had any prayer requests called.
and i poured out everything to her.
and together, we read the bible.

we read Job.
Job 38-41 "The Lord speaks".
if you've read Job, you'd know that Job was a man that God tested.
Job's entire fortune was stripped away, he and his family were bombarded with diseases and basically God took all material blessings away from Him to test him.
and in Job 38-41,
The Lord said, "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.
Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!...
Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of eath?
Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?...
Who has a claim against me that I must pay?
Everything under heaven belongs to me."

Then in Job 42
Job replied to the Lord, "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ' Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely i spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."

everything in the universe, every single thing, belongs to Him.
and we do not understand why things work the way they do, but we must trust in God!
because He is always faithful.

and in Job 42:12 "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first" and in Job 42:10 "after Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before."

God has many blessings for us.
we just have to trust Him and submit to Him :)

and God did answer my prayers.
He didn't give me what i wanted, but He gave me something better.
He gave me the faith and he opened my eyes to see.
"He is my stronghold, my refuge and my saviour - from violent men you save me. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies."
He saved me from future pain, He opened my eyes so i could see the truth.
that it wasn't worth holding onto something that would hurt me.

and the Lord truly answered my prayer.
because He has given me the strength to let go.
He has given me the strength to move on and be joyous because i'm back with Him!

so don't be afraid to submit to Him!
it's always hard.
but every obstacle, every test, shapes us to be more like Jesus.
and we can't see the perfect plan now, but He'll reveal it to us.
and always know that God has a multitude of blessings He wants to shower on you!
we just don't receive them when we reject God and cling on to what we want.
and God will give you strength.
He'll never give you something you cannot handle and God will always be there to carry you through it.
just like how He carried me :)

remember that THE JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH!