(EDIT)

yknow what? Optimism, optimism, optimism!
I mean, hah, being melancholy is so unbecoming and I refuse to fall into the clutches that deathly emotion.
Someone just said something very cheesy, very cliche (ha ha sorry) but very uplifting (see, redeeming quality) and that is Smile, smile, smile.
And smile I will, because I like smiling.
:)

-

Maybe it's typical displacement blues setting in but I spent the whole day in my grotty home clothes sleeping and watching tele feeling strangely relaxed but restless all at the same time.
Sometimes I think I'm constantly searching; delving back, wondering and balancing the equations of my life which never seem to add up, and it frustrates me.
I feel like picking my memories apart and reconstructing it, making it easy on the mind's eye.
I want someone to talk to but yet it seems as though what I want to say is tumultuous and neverending and at the end of that whole stream of supposed verbal cartharsis, no purpose is served, no knots are tied up and nothing is achieved.
So, what exactly is the point?

I miss being giddily happy.
I'm happy; but not the kind of happiness that effuses you with an insuppressable flushed glow, makes your fingertips tingle and your heart sing, where you're bounding through the days with refreshed and tenacious energy.
It's been a long time since I last felt this way that I don't even think I remember it.
OHWELL.


I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates

I see the beauty above