I haven't done very much since I came back other than to meet people, buy myself the Harry Potter book and a pair of boots (on sale!).
I haven't had time alone to simply potter about in my room, read, chill and listen to music, or whatever little things people tend to do when they're alone, and all this jetlag and topsyturvy sleeping patterns are taking its toll on me because I am feeling kinda tired. Kinda.

It was one of my more eventful flights back this time simply because I decided this time I won't be like the little loser I usually am, sitting at the gate clutching my boarding pass waiting and boring myself to death, but I would prowl through the shops and buy something.
I knew I was deliberately stretching time out, trying to feel like a person who had something to do with her time, and while I was standing at the counter, very pleased that I'd decided to buy myself something (slate eye pencil), they began the final call for my flight!
Ugh, so anyway, once the cashier had finished waiting for my receipt to click its way out of the machine, I literally ran all the way to Gate 34.
I wasn't the last, thankfully, but I was almost the last.
And second little eventful thing was that I sat next to Debbie on my flight! I've never sat next to anyone I know, or even someone below the age of 25 for that matter, on a flight before.

Anyway, I got to meet up with May, Lise, Angie, GY and some of the other YFers which is more people than I expected to meet over the weekend.
I even had an awesome taste of homecooked food at May's; and speaking of cooking, I've had no desire to start doing my magic (or lack thereof haha) over a pan because I've been feeling too tired, too lazy, and too undomesticated.
I haven't even vacuumed my room, unpacked properly, or thrown my clothes into the washing machine yet.

Everything at church today impacted me so powerfully.
I've been struggling quite a little ever since I'd been back to Singapore, fighting to be set apart from this world, grappling with my own sin and finding it difficult to listen to God's voice and pray properly.
And everything today from the songs we sang, the prayers prayed, the sermon preached, spoke to my heart so powerfully; it brought my guilt and shame to light and had it washed away by His blood, rebuked my too easily satisfied human desire and encouraged me that Jesus is the sweetest, best, most beautiful and holy treasure we have.

I remember I woke up this morning, tired and drained from busyness and even the little nagging guilt at not spending enough time with God at the back of my head, and as I waited for GY to pick me up, I prayed a short little prayer, something like God, help me! I need you. I need you to convict me and help me change! My little bleak cry for help.
I felt led once again to Romans 8 about life by the Spirit, by whom I am controlled and guided, and because of death on the cross by Jesus, we are transformed and obligated to live holy lives according to Spirit of God!

Sometimes I think I lack that reverent fear of God's word and do not treasure Him enough.
It's something I pray for all the time, that I may know Him so intimately and so well, that God in all His indescribable glory and the fullness of Him will be shown to me daily, all the time and I may live in reverent fear and love towards him as He continues to change me to be more like Him.