so today we lost.
i felt really awful, because a part of me believes i could have done it.
I MEAN LOOK AT THE SCORE!
the first set anyway.
but praise God cause He knows what He's doing.

and He's really been here for me today.
sometimes it's so unnerving when God speaks plainly to you.
and He has today.
He answered every single question i had about His plans for me especially pertaining to my current situation.
and i feel so grateful because i know i'll always have God to fall back on.

it's really hard sometimes.
when you always want to make decisions on your own and follow your heart.
and it's even harder when God doesn't make it clear to you.
because you believe it's a half-half it can go the way you want it to go, or the other way.
and you usually choose the way you want to go.

sometimes the way you want it to go is His way.
but sometimes it's not.
and i know now the way i want to go is not His way.
and God has never spoken to me so clearly before.

I urge you to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teachings you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil
Romans 16:17-19

He wants us to be with non-believers because of the mission and plan He has for all of us which is to draw people to Him.
however, we must know that we shouldn't be influenced and forget God.

we choose to accept God but we always still have our hopes and desires of earthly things.
and God tells us that He has "heard about (our) obedience" and is "full of joy over (us)". however he wants us to be "wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil."

it's not a reference that non-believers are evil.
but what makes us stray from God, that is evil.

and i asked God, why is it you gave me what i wanted and took it away so soon?
and again He replied me
Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked i will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised."

This was after Job had lost all his cattle and animals and sons and daughters.
and despite his loss, He still praised God cos its our heavenly Father who owns the universe.
and like i said in my earlier post, God blessed the latter part of Job's life even more!

so never despair when you've suffered a loss.
because He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you :)

there are some things i'd like to change that i can't.
but i know He'll help me.
He'll help you too.

just wanna say that He has truly been there for me and i want to tell all of you that He's there for you too.
and if you don't believe in Him, i just want to say that He really wants to be there for you.
and He's still watching over you.
:)