In the flurry of the hustle and bustle of adjustments and impending exams, I find myself wanting and severely lacking, but not in the aspect of humility but more out of human frustration and greed, of yearning for quick fixes and instant gratificaiton.

All this frustration has inevitably drawn me into the usual grouses and complaints, but more significantly, I think it reduced me to somewhat of a festering sewer; choking and manifesting the elements of anger, frustration, yearnings and wanting everything but rejecting all at the same time.

Half a year has sped by so quickly and I honestly wonder where did all that time go to. The beginnings of 2006 had me filled me with uncertainty, moving to a new place, studying new subjects and beginning the new phase of life one calls university. Bits of my heart lay in various places and moving to either meant gaining something but losing others at the same time.

So maybe in the midst of all this uncertainty and hiccups and adjustment, I'd forgotten to surrender a heart of thanksgiving before God. I'd very much been a brat of an 18 year old, begging God to make things all better and throwing dozens of why why why's at Him and struggling to trust and obey and understand.
Til now, there are so many things I don't understand, so many areas of my heart which are greyed with doubt, but then in these few days, He has opened the eyes of my heart to see the things that He has done, and for that I'm thankful.

I'm thankful for the friends I've made who have made this transition so much easier.
I'm so thankful for the churchmates, uni friends, housemates that I've met.
I'm so thankful for my nearest and dearest back home who call, email, text and snail mail to remind me that they are always there.
I'm thankful that He has allowed me to meet all these people and I thank Him for the little things that He has done to turn a frown upside down or how He magically turned a bad day around.
I'm thankful for the little areas that He has helped me to serve, as I'd prayed for before I came.
I'm thankful that He has people all around me to remind me that He is there and to teach me to pray and stand firm in my faith and to perservere.

Even though there are so many things I don't understand, so many things that distract me, so many things that I struggle with, so many times where I don't know what to say or don't know what to do, I'm thankful that He's always there.
I'm even feeling strangely thankful about that last tube of haribo which I have demolished within 5 minutes...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things on earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace