I can't help turning back and scrabbling for the fluttering carelessness of my youth. Not that I am un-youthful but age has that way of creeping up on you, shocking you out of ageless delusion. Like a competition for youths: ages 12 to 18. Eighteen?! And there I was thinking I still qualified. Living by yourself hastens the aging process. I feel like a child dragged into adulthood by bills, rent and grocery shopping; unwilling, churlish and pained.
Today felt like a grown-up day. I went to see Fendam Management regarding my old tenancy bond. I wonder how adults get used to commercial jargon, using the phrases so loosely and blithely, while my ears twitch and prick as the words knot themselves in incomprehensible bundles in my head. I'm sure all adults were young and ignorant once. Other grown-up things I did included getting my week's worth of veges, chicken and fruit as well as a brand new two-tier shoe rack. I didn't know plastic stackable drawers were so hard to find. While looking for my stackable drawers, I spent a pensive five minutes wistfully fingering the pretty wood-and-cream table lamp and the mini chest in shades of dark wood and taupe, all well over my minuscule student's budget. And now I've got a pot of chicken soup bubbling over the stove. I miss my mother.
I felt really sad last week, didn't really know why. I was feeling really well in the day: spent Friday morning singing and talking to the old folks at Belasco Court, met up with Hilda for some window shopping and idle chitchat. Then in a sudden burst of solitude, I holed myself up in Borders for two and a half hours poring through a book. I took a bus home after with Deathcab in my ears, scribbling in my notebook. The little bubble of sadness popped and I spent the next hour sobbing and trying my best to buffet my bruised and uncomprehending heart with those dearest to me. Some things make so much sense in your head, but not when said out loud. I really need to learn to hold on to the everlasting hope that is in Jesus and not cave in to my bouts of melancholia!
Yesterday was Billy's 21st; happy birthday Billy :) It was quite a festive affair with trays of finger food being served and everyone dressed according to the theme of I want Billy to be _______. We went as the Addams family and I don't know whether it is meant to be a compliment or not but everyone said I looked exactly like Wednesday Addams. Anyway, the only pictures I took are with my grainy phone camera so I thought I'd steal some cool professional shots off facebook instead!
Kungfu Master Iggy and Wednesday Me :)
The Addams Family with the birthday boy (Gerrard)
His awesome Paul Frank mango mousse cake. Loooooves it.
Today felt like a grown-up day. I went to see Fendam Management regarding my old tenancy bond. I wonder how adults get used to commercial jargon, using the phrases so loosely and blithely, while my ears twitch and prick as the words knot themselves in incomprehensible bundles in my head. I'm sure all adults were young and ignorant once. Other grown-up things I did included getting my week's worth of veges, chicken and fruit as well as a brand new two-tier shoe rack. I didn't know plastic stackable drawers were so hard to find. While looking for my stackable drawers, I spent a pensive five minutes wistfully fingering the pretty wood-and-cream table lamp and the mini chest in shades of dark wood and taupe, all well over my minuscule student's budget. And now I've got a pot of chicken soup bubbling over the stove. I miss my mother.
I felt really sad last week, didn't really know why. I was feeling really well in the day: spent Friday morning singing and talking to the old folks at Belasco Court, met up with Hilda for some window shopping and idle chitchat. Then in a sudden burst of solitude, I holed myself up in Borders for two and a half hours poring through a book. I took a bus home after with Deathcab in my ears, scribbling in my notebook. The little bubble of sadness popped and I spent the next hour sobbing and trying my best to buffet my bruised and uncomprehending heart with those dearest to me. Some things make so much sense in your head, but not when said out loud. I really need to learn to hold on to the everlasting hope that is in Jesus and not cave in to my bouts of melancholia!
Yesterday was Billy's 21st; happy birthday Billy :) It was quite a festive affair with trays of finger food being served and everyone dressed according to the theme of I want Billy to be _______. We went as the Addams family and I don't know whether it is meant to be a compliment or not but everyone said I looked exactly like Wednesday Addams. Anyway, the only pictures I took are with my grainy phone camera so I thought I'd steal some cool professional shots off facebook instead!
Kungfu Master Iggy and Wednesday Me :)
The Addams Family with the birthday boy (Gerrard)
His awesome Paul Frank mango mousse cake. Loooooves it.
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