abit of drama going on in the house yesterday.
heaps of crying and yelling over VERY inconsequential things.
thankfully, it ended after a night's sleep.
dimmed my spirits quite abit today and was feeling rather exhausted. and my puffy eyes were hurting.

today was a very unconducive environment for studying with half the school absent and the other half pink slipping and coming back.
in out in out and some out and never in again.

was in a rather mad mood.
attributed by pms and fatigue.
first time all year i went home early straight after school.
thank goodness for double free period at the end.
i made it home even before school ended at 4.30.

i'm so glad that it's a holiday tomorrow.
i need some hermit time.

this has been one good weekend.
i think its primarily due to the fact that there's no more major homework/project to rush.
yesterday was spent on a exhausted albeit euphoric high.
and its because NO MORE PW!
for the time being that is.

ohwell. shall blog in pointform.
FRIDAY
- school was eerily empty. science fac was away for spa. it was rather unnerving.
- exhausting captain's ball. weikong was the superstar.
- had a strangely fun time doing gp compres.
- had chinese in room 2.12 for the FIRST time. poor laoshi's old injury came back. and 'it was a dark and stormy night' story writing.
- rage was in an exceptionally chipper mood. she was uncharacteristically verbal and retarded.
- friendly at singapore poly. FRIENDLY people! the ngee ann poly capt invited us over for a friendly.
- took squuuash pics with fongchi's new cool cam. i love my squashies:)
- korean noodles and mcnuggets for dinner. YUMYUM. been having a craving for chicken nuggets. had them for three nights already.

TODAY
- tuition was very productive somehow. 1030 is an ideal time for tuition. the tute was late though.
- the tute taught me and mich TRICKS.
- had a nice time talking and eating with mich.
- RIBBON.ribbonRIBBON.
- had a real lousy nap. i'd just about fallen asleep when my aunt called. and she wouldnt stop calling.
- shopped abit
- church was pretty good. rev james singh came and although i don't entirely understand him, he serves as a pretty effective 'awakener' if you know what i mean. sort of jolts you back to your Christian life.
- supper with 20piece nuggets and part of the small group
- gave up my seat to an old lady today. made me feel rather happy.

ohwell.
so that was my day.
couple of stuff going round in my head now.
nothing bad.
just food for thought.
and recollection.

and i must mention this.
i never really thought i'd be happy in acsquash because i was the only mg girl and i didnt think i could ever fit in with the sc girls.
but i think we've become more or less a real ac team.
been understanding them abit more, and hitting it off almost from the start, and i'm really feeling the friendship and camaraderie.
but of course there's still room for improvement.
been feeling like i've been failing the team quite abit.
i certainly could do alot more.
there is much more to learn.

been reading a few things, thinking abit, seeing a little more, and struggling to put things into perspective.

being entrenched in such solid and unwavering culture does produce some adverse effects although i must say i am very grateful for the benefits.
it breeds self-absorption, superiority (the subtle, unconscious kind) and oblivion.

i'd reckon i never saw myself as entirely self-absorbed or superior or oblivious, but that's because man's the measure and it's all about the relative space around you.
i derived such assumptions about myself based on context and current circumstances.

so having read a few things, thought a bit more, saw a bit more, i have bred a certain level of conceitedness, superiority and oblivion that's buried in my subconsciousness.
because all my life i've been insulated by a culture, a culture that those around me have breathed and lived as well.
and it sets intangible standards and expectations right from the start.
so having spent a good ten years breathing and soaking in such culture, i've invariably subjected others to such standards and expectations.
and it didn't seem wrong, basically because everyone i'd talked, ate, worked with lived the same culture, met up with expectations, and have set these standards themselves!

so at the very back of my head, i knew there were other cultures. but it is very similar to knowing there is no oxygen in space, but yet it doesn't affect you because you're living on an earth full of oxygen and as those thoughts run through you, you are still living and breathing.

but now i'm beginning to realise that perhaps i've been so entrenched and absorbed in my own culture, encased in my own little bubble, that i've failed to notice the others.
and even if i do notice them, they've been alienated.
simply because i've been subjected to standards and expectations on social behaviour, and i've subjected others to these standards, that i unconsciously pass judgement and remarks on others.
and being so enclosed in my own comfort zone, it's going to take more than a huge shove to get me out.

but it's not completely extreme here.
i do realise that there are some people i don't know how to click and communicate with because of this difference, but i do perceive them to be nice people with really good hearts, and there are some which i think are universally annoying.
to a certain extent that is passing judgement, but all i'm saying is that this judgement is not guided by just the standards i've set up, but overall universal standards.
which means those that universally annoy, don't just annoy me, they annoy MANY OTHER PEOPLE.
but i digress.

the point i wanted to make is that, i want to shift out of my comfort zone. i want to try and make an effort.
i don't want to be some oblivious retard living in her own little world.

and first and foremost, it's got to start with my class.
being in 1AA1 brings out some really unnerving senses of deja vu periodically.
but in 1AA1, there's so much less grey area, and it's a little more distinct. which serves to be better somewhat, because i don't feel like i'm drifting in between.
yeah so having attempted to be abit more perceptive and understanding, i do think i can relate to some people in class.
of course there is evident mutual distrust, wariness, and preconceived notions of people, which hinders the getting-to-know.
but when it really boils down to the individual, i don't think we're that much different.

so although my brains are pw fried, having stayed up til 1.30 for four consecutive nights cramming hmwk and pw, i am grateful for pw.
like i said earlier, it has a keen and subtle way of linking people together.
forced by circumstances to produce willing friendships.

moving on to more trivial things, i have to say i love pe AGAIN.
floorball is getting increasingly better.
although everytime i play floorball, i've injured someone.
today it was mus. SORRY mus.

and the highlight of my day was when we were changing in the washroom. seeing the mep teacher leave the washroom made me think of something which i had to ask rage.

me: rage, how come you didn't take mep in JC?
rage (in the cubicle): (vehemently) because if i did, i'd have NO LIFE!
*mep teacher leaving the washroom looks stunned and her jaw drops*
me: erm rage, i think you'd better not say it so loud. the mep teacher is still here.
rage (rushing out of the cubicle): sorry sorry!
*mep teacher shakes her head and walks out chuckling*

so we walk out to see valerie wilson coming out of the room.
she gives us a sidelong glance and starts laughing.
rage: SHE KNOWS!

i thought it REALLY was quite funny.

mood went down after math lect and stayed down.
blaaaaaaah.
i need sleep terribly.

pw is taking it's toll on me.
didn't get to bed till 1.30am in a bid to finish up my pw.
and pw seems to be consuming my thoughts.
i think about it all day and night and how i want to WRITE THE DRAFT AND HAND IT IN ON FRIDAY.
but, i can't seem to stop finding new information that i deem relevant to the project.
so at this point of time where research is supposed to be done and settled, i keep churning out these new pieces of information.
and these new information just seems to be getting MORE and MORE relevant.
i think i might be going a bit mad.

there hasn't been rainy weather for a while.
rainy days have a way of making time standstill just for a little while. it makes all these tiny little insignificant things a little more significant.
it has a way of slowing time down and making me appreciate the roof i have over my head.
and umbrellas.
and hot food.
and friends.
and cosy NL classrooms where i can teacher-watch and see the rain making it's way through the trees.

so today, rainy weather gave me a longer free period, and enjoy a little mundane conversation while waiting for umbrella-toting people to rescue us.

math lect was a great starter.
shuchua comes up with the funniest things.
so we spent a good twenty minutes of the math lect twisting everyone's names around.
like HI CHUSHUA.
and CHIMELLE.
and me and jame with our very jap names MUSHIN and MAJIE (pronounced as meiji, as in the biscuit brand)
and not forgetting nigel's crude sounding one
and the mystery.. for the sake of keeping it a mystery, a certain SUMS.
and of course STEADY STEADY BOM PEE PEE! LAOSAI PANGSAI HA HEE HEE! DUNG GATE DUNG GATE JIN STEADY!

relieved some of my primary school 'pretend' days when mich produced her cool smelly rubbery frogs coupled with her pesky cockroaches (WHICH SCARED BELINDA! HA HA sorry bel we really are).
we made them copulate (the new word i learnt today thanks to ngxy), we made them hug and we made them fight with cockroaches.
and mich with her pretend powerful mutated cockroaches with penetrative feelers.
and rage's superfrogs with armour skin.
and soozie's great re-enactment of michelle's fantasy frog kiss.

and so my school day ended with pw.
and thus, my post shall END WITH PW.
PW PW PW PW PW PW PW PW.
i think PW has a rather keen way of bringing out the best or the worst in people and forming unlikely friendships.
either way, i'm glad for that.
THANK GOOOOOODNESSS FOR MY GREAT PW GROUUUP.
okay
pw pw pw pw pw.
remember to do your pw.

i was actually in bed asleep but since al called at 1030 to ask me about pw, i decided maybe it was wiser that i should get up and get some pw stuff done considering the deadline is this friday.

there was an underlying exhaustion in my day.
much thanks to sleeping at 2am because of my addiction to snake 2.
the only reason i'm carrying my old ancient 3310 around with me is because i CANNOT STOP PLAYING SNAKE.
and I CAN'T SEEM TO BEAT MY SEC TWO HIGHEST SCORE.

was talking to my mother about my childhood days and she reckons i have violent tendencies just because i used to love to kill ants.
now i know what she means.
i seem to have carried a portion of my weird habits from toddler to teenager.
because i saw a sliver of my past peeking out today when i was on a rampage killing ants in class.
there were SO MANY of them, crawling everywhere and one even bit my arm!

pw is creeping up on me.
i thought we were fast.
i thought wrong.
we have FOUR days to complete everything.
it seems near impossible.
BUT, but all things are possible through Christ.
so say hello to pw meetings EVERY SINGLE DAY.
i know we can :)

and.. all i seem to want to do everyday is watch tv eat and sleep and read a book and listen to jaychou and bum online.
when all i should want to be doing is study econs and do math and read lit books and study chinese and read the newspaper and newsweek and economist regularly and religiously.

i hate this knowing but not feeling vibe.
the fact that the glaring blinding deafening inevitable information is shining and screaming in your face, but yet you suddenly seem to be deaf and wearing very very well protected shades.
so i know promos are in six weeks.
but i don't feel as though promos are in six weeks.

i think i'd better draw up a timetable.
inclusive of gym plans and pw plans and study plans and reading plans and all those little bits and pieces i ought to stick into my life.

pre-exam days have a way of making me appear all talk and no action.
which is probably the way i am.

i need more songs to sing in school.
i need to do.. something.

this weekend has been a food-filled weekend.
had dinner with the family yesterday at some italian restaurant and being the usual greedy pig i am, i had soup, wedges, calamari, pasta and shared a pizza with my aunt.
i thought i was going to throw up.

and before i proceed, first things first
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!


happy 17th birthday to my darling eMpTy sister who's always been there for me for all things sad or happy, the one who brightens up my school and tuition days :)
here's to 7 years of friendship and MORE!

ok so i stuffed myself silly at michelle' birthday lunch.
we shared a seafood platter for two and it was just full of.. SEAFOOD.
and silly me forgot my camera so it looks like i'll have to go photohunting again.

this sounds highly ridiculous, but i'm too full to think.
i am going to nap.

oh yes i forgot to put up the pics of a long long time ago.
school, national day and cel's bday.
click HERE

by the way, i think my new favourite singer for now is jack johnson.
he is GOOD.

yesterday was a fairly eventful day although i spent a good part of the day feeling very unsettled because chee wasn't in SCHOOL!
it was as though a large share of most conversations wasn't there and my free periods were empty without her.
and i didn't get to gym!

waiting makes people do unnaturally crazy things.
it's almost as though all that wasted empty time with no plan or patience incites people to do ridiculous and to a certain extent self destructive things.
for example while waiting for laura from 4.30 to 6.30, my stomach seemed to have expanded considerably and my blood vessels seemed to miraculously drain themselves of sugar, and i was starving.
so i proceeded to eat a bowl of instant noodles.
however all that empty time on my hands triggered off brain signals which made me hungry still so i bought a box of chicken rice.
and though i was pretty full already, CF came over and told us they had free food.
so sight over mind and i had two servings of macaroni and lasagne.
then while laura tiff and i were waiting for a cab which all stupidly horribly refused to stop for us, we were unconsciously spilling out rhymes and jingles and making parodies of songs to echo our miserable plight of spending 45 minutes flagging a cab.

me: taxi taxi one to three
tiff: won't you come and stop for me
laura: (looking shocked) YOU RHYMED!
tiff: because i'm late already.
me&laura stare at tiff
tiff: SO WONT YOU HURRY!

laura: sigh waiting makes us rhyme
me: yeah it's to pass the time.
laura: (shocked) YOU RHYMED!

well we eventually took a bus with jo to mgs where i had a very entertaining conversation with tiff :)
arrived 45 minutes late for LOVE MGS and worship was long over and we were there halfway through the testimony.
but there was worship after and IT WAS GOOD.
candice is gooooood~
she should form her own band and lead chapel at acjc.

backtracking a little, the highlight of my day at school was at 6.30 when we were sitting around and laura CAME!
it was a highlight for undisclosed reasons.

so after getting a drink at kap, my dad wanted me home and i didn't get to go to christine's house to watch farenheit 9/11 :(
i really wanted to see becky and catch up with fiona and christine AND watch farenheit 9/11.
the only good thing out of getting home early, was that i got to have a nice hot shower and sleep earlier.
and my parents wouldnt have murdered me for waking them up in the wee hours of the morning asking them to pick me up from christine's.

i am suddenly very into pe.
i look forward to thursdays and fridays because of pe.
today's pe was good :)
FLOORBALL.. i liike.
actually i think most sports which involve me holding something in my hand like squash badminton softball floorball etc but i'm hopeless at running or swimming or basketball of anything like that.
unfortunately, tomorrow is basketball.
but i think i'm starting to like it ALOT more.

econs essay test was bad.
i didn't even manage to finish BOTH questions!
how lousy is that.

today just kinda droned on without any significance.
except maybe little memorable bits and pieces.

like when missyim gave us a passage to read and it sounded all cute and innocent about a little boy and she went..
missyim: well i guess we can see that there are some sexual connotations here. like we might believe that the boy is masturbating or.."
the little boy was riding a ROCKING HORSE!
although delving a little deeper i guess i can sort of see what she's driving at, but that's only after a little probing and err twisting of my imagination.

and also when laoshi locked us out of the classroom today.
i didn't know whether to be happy or sad.
i think as much as i hate attending lessons, my conscious mind (like freudian theory would say) is too overpowering and i actually make myself go and thus my mind sends these weird signals to my body which make me SCARED about missing class.

and i'm going to start keeping track of michelle's self-confident remarks about herself.
from what she says, she is a very VERY self confident girl indeed :)
but i still love my michelle because she makes days in school SOSO much brighter and lovelier with that very nice mellow touch of the past; bearing in mind we've been friends since primary school.
i think school days without mich jame sue rage and yap would be very very sad.
i'd be so sad, i'd have no words.

michelle is right.
we are a very singing class.
jame and i spent a good half an hour after school belting out incompleted song after incompleted song with a wide range from jaychou to paul anka to disney and me the frog choir for backup:)
jame should really really sing properly one day.
her voice is way too good to be shadowed and ruined by her sense of consideration.
and by that i mean her singing as badly as us just so we won't look bad.

i found more people to bus home with.
that's gary and sugy.
although sugy just simply yaks too much.
but he surprised me.
he actually observed two minutes worth of silence.
that's a whole minute more than i'd expected.

i am so glad there's double period pe tomorrow:)
more time for games and laughter.
BUT i dread next year.
mass pe, swimming pe, track and field and PFT.
butBUT.. that's all next year :)

aside from the fact that i have horrible timing, i thought i was sick today.
massive sinus sneezes coupled with chills made me think i was going to run a fever but after a few periods the feeling wore off and i stopped sneezing so much.

weikong's expression when he realised jame wasn't in school today was pretty priceless. and two periods had already gone before i told him she wasn't. and he still didn't know.

and e4 was rather amusing today.
mus: shite, you're like a genius!
missjamietan: yeah yeah i know that.

mus: mdm, how about like.. the day after tomorrow?
missjamietan: how about like.. NO?

and our new class rep is al.
we didn't even have a re-election. al just raised his hand and voluntereed.
which isn't a bad thing because i think al would make a pretty good class rep.
liiike..
al wanted to borrow paper from mus.
mus: do i look like a vendor to you?!
al: do you want me to mark a zero for you?!

stoned the afternoon away after doing pw. sat at the vd with jame, mich and alina singing jaychou and cheesy love songs.

and congrats to TERRY for being capt and HAPPYBIRTHDAY TERRY!

had a pretty good conversation with mich after tuition about people.
then i had a rather strange but amusing conversation with my mother about.. people.

this is very disjointed.
just little scraps of my day.
all i know is that its going to be a busy week with pw piling up, essays to do, interviews to conduct and my econs test tomorrow to study for.
Tolerable Thursday tomorrow.

there are a couple of things i'm missing like hell right now.
like..

bdiv'03 and mr koh


fiona

and becky


and sicc sundays with lyd and the squashgang.


i think i miss the last one A LOT.
i havent been there since beginning of the year.
and that place has held a lot of memories for me.

i remember sicc was our haven during sars.
we'd go there thrice a week and squash/pingpong/tennis from early afternoon til evening.
and every sunday without fail we'd meet at 3-4 and play squash singles and doubles.
usually me and lyd against chris and mike.
and those christmas dinners and charity dinners we'd go for, where all the juniors sat together and gorged.
and lyd won a bottle of wine.
and my favourite shower stall.
and the nice man who'd always mix hot water and ice water for me.
and the lady who ALWAYS says hello to me without fail.
and all the people there who made it complete.
lyd chris mike yiwei jeremy and his bro roachie aditi and the hills and kelvin.

i miss it alot.
it was one of the few rare places where i could come down to the simplest form of myself and not worry about anything else.
everything centred around squash and food.
i miss it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CEL THE BELLE :)

i shall be like jame and blog pointform style today.

- friday was productive PE day. i'm a hopeless shooter and basketball makes me tired. floorball with jame mich andrew and psy. I SCORED!
- i passed econs :)
- massive free periods spent with jame.
- followed by mich and matt then weikong and rage. inclusive of jaychou and bigbro stories which horrified rage.
- THE RAG which fell on either tancc or rage and made contact with manymany people.
- dinner with family and dad's friend. i was veryVERYvery bored. and i found out that dad's friend's son has the same birthday as me. uhh.. peachy.

- chinese mock EARLY on sat morning. was starving like mad. jess and i wrote the same STORY!
- went to watch rugby with jame rachyap and alina. pleasant train ride and half embarrassing moments at yjc where they played.
- mus on crutches and saw pwee and BERTIE!
- had a goodtime in bloomington flipping through greeting cards with yap.
- went for cel's birthday WOW she booked a whole cinema hall! secret window was one of those mystery thriller types that do not go well with me.
- nice cake at the lounge and cel looked so PRETTY.
- had a wonderful time with the girls esp cass and christine.
- dinner at 1030.
- alexchua sent me home. oh i doubt he reads this but THANKS.

blogging in point form is very efficient.
i rather like it.
small group discussion today was rather interesting.
thought provoking yes, but at least i got my questions and confusions out.
didn't managed to answer or solve any of it, but i do have a clearer understanding.

Strange and difficult indeed
We may find it
But the blessing that we need
Is behind it.

terrible thursdays are getting better and better.
perhaps it's because i've learnt to cope with the stifling long double math lecture and i'm starting to enjoy tan cc's lessons alot more.
they are very interactive and enlightening indeed :)

almost the whole class slacked off for pe to study math although i sort of wanted to do PE.
because games - i liike :)
math test was a killer, hardest i've ever done and i'd outdone myself memorising those awful formulas but STILL.
im going to fail.

lunch was rather amusing today.
strange convos and heaps of laughter.
rather good i'd say.

today passed by like a heatwave.
i think this is possibly due to the stifling weather today and the fact that today passed by rather quickly without much interruptions.

the heat is melting my brain.
i can't really think of anything to blog about :
OH.
i'm DAMN proud of candice.
she's track cap! cooool stuff.

i'm running out of things to blog about.
i think i'll just run a nice shower and.. sleep.

it is WAY too late for me to be up on a school night but my body clock has gone a little wrong.
thank goodness it's early wednesday tomorrow so i can skittle home after school and NAP.
which may not be a very wise idea considering i'd be wide awake and bright eyed on wednesday night...
a vicious cycle i must break.
no wonder they call it a vicious cycle.
it is pretty vicious, the way it keeps you on it, and it's so hard to break out of.

right so today, with SO much time on my hands, i dug out the sewing machine, in a bid to actually fill my empty words of sewing something with substance.
and i found some gorgeous black lace on a hideous black top (which i intend to snip) and a rather gaudy shirtwaister which i believe i can cut up to make it look halfway decent.
i hope.
sometimes i think i put too much faith in myself just because i can wield a scissors decently and cut a skirt fairly well.

spent a fair hour in my sister's room debating if she has put on weight or not and the final consensus is that she HAS!
but at the wrong places.
and the amount of weight she's put on is so insignificant on her tiny bones that she still looks pretty thin.
lucky her :(
but despite having put on at the wrong places, i reckon she's pretty happy because she put on the top i bought for her and took my skirt and started shimmying and dancing around the room.

okay i've digressed.
because my original intention for blogging at this unearthly hour was because i suddenly decided to take a dip into my past.
and i figured i was a very very nice albeit noisy person in the past.
i quite like how i've turned out, a little quieter and with a lot more sense.
but i quite miss how i used to be.
eternally optimistic (okay at least that's how i remember myself to be), loving everyone and everything, and huge bundle of energy and well okay, noise.
and i reckon that made me quite likable, i THINK.

but the inevitable events that occur and make us all grow up set in, and i curdled and became a little less nice, a bit more cynical and entertain bitter thoughts and sour mood swings.
which attributes to the fact that perhaps now i do rationalise alot more and try to sharpen my perceptive skills from time to time.

but it's rather pleasant knowing that i'm a nice person who loves everyone and everything, optimistic and a bundle of energy.
and that little bit of me has always hoped i'd passed on that little energy and joy in me to someone else to make them a little happier.
but i don't really feel that bit in me anymore.

and i do kind of miss it, because it made me feel as though i was making a genuine effort to love people and make them happy.
but looking back i don't think i want to be that noisy and that rash, appearing to be rather.. err well dumb.

it's kind of hard to strike a balance isn't it?
i want that kind of everlasting optimism and goodwill and love towards people, but yet i want to be receptive, perceptive and down to earth, and maybe perhaps abit critical, to remind myself that i do think and not act mindlessly.

maybe it's a case of the grass is always greener on the other side.
memories have a way of erasing the bad parts, numbing us to them, so we remember the better, happier times.
but to actually relive then, i don't think i'd have been particularly happy with myself.
so in the same way, the future has a way of predicting only the better, blocking out the nasty bits that would inevitably enter.
i mean nobody imagines themselves to grow up unmarried and beating their children senseless or anything like that.
perhaps we have entertained those thoughts while feeling very morose and bitter, but deep inside, i'd reckon no one really foresees their lives to be like that.
because i certainly didn't see myself growing up to be someone who's always giving in to mood swings, feeling like a fake half the time.

self analysis makes me very confused.
i think i know who i am, but sometimes i don't.
i want to be this, i want to be that, but yet i don't want to be anything like that.
sometimes i wish i could be boxed and categorised.
it's so much easier than searching for who you want to be.
because in real life, no one can be boxed or categorised.
everyone's a little smart, a little dumb, everyone has a bit of a bimbo in them, everyone's a little cynical, a little happy, a little sad.
everyone's just in different proportions of the same ingredients, but we all have those little traits in everyone of us.
and thinking that way, i think it makes me a little happier.
but a little sad too, because then what am i?
a little churned out creature of a mixing machine?

quiet late nights by myself and the computer does strange things to my head.

Don't think you're of little importance
You're somebody, somebody fine
However you tumble, and get up and stumble
You're part of a vision Divine.
- a little something from the Bad Mother's Handbook by Kate Long.

despite having supposedly gone out and done things, i don't really feel like i've seen the light of day in a while. attributed by the fact that i've spent the last few days celebrating the country's birth with my family.
indoors.
not that i mind.
it's just that it makes me feel vaguely like a non-living creature, a couch potato to be more accurate.

this holiday is too short.
but yet it seems too long.
as much as i love holidays, i don't think i like unroutine breaks from school, meaning a sudden extra national day holiday.
not because i love school terribly, but because i'm slightly outraged at the fact that my growing acceptance of having to wake up at 6am every morning to face the school day has been squashed back to it's miniscule size by having a holiday.

riiight.
so the highlight of national day would probably be SINGAPORE IDOL!
omeeegad i don't think i've laughed that hard in ages.
was hoping they'd feature betty but maybe next week.
and i forgot to be patriotic and wear my red I LOVE SINGAPORE shirt.
and in a bid to celebrate the nation's birthday, i'd wanted to wear a red top matched with red shoes.
but comfort instincts took over and i was very sloppily dressed.
in non singapore colours.

today hasn't been very brilliant.
i cooked for my mom.
and i watched huanzhugege part 3 and rekindled that little flame in me i had during sec4 for huanzhugege.
i remember how 7pm-8pm on weekdays was my respite from the dreary preparation of the O's.
and HOW I LOVED IT.
so veryvery much.
DAAAARN singapore cable for refeaturing it at 330 on WEEKDAYS.
grr.
back to my day.
i listened to rainbow connection and jaychou again.

i am very aware i lead an extremely boring life.
so to add on to his utter mundane life, i shall reread regeneration so i won't have to go for dc for a week.
actually on second thoughts, i think i might go watch my hanayoridango vcds again :)
i just remembered they were lying in a corner of my shelf doing nothing.

had a very UNsleepover-ish sleepover at cass's yesterday.
for one, we did work.
i got a bit of math and lit done.
and then i ended up having a conversation with cass's dad on energy efficiency and the environment.
and followed by the Truman Show, which DISTURBS ME VERY GREATLY, may i add.
and before we went to bed we had a discussion on politics and thought provoking movies and technology.
and for a change, we didn't gorge ourselves silly on food.
but i had VERY nice jollibean peanut pancake:)

well back to the Truman Show, i recall some chapel sermon we had some time back and about how the 'producer' of the Truman Show in the movie is like a mockery of Christ, i mean since his name is Christof which is like Christ of the Truman Show.

and i've no energy to go into the intricacies of it all because i myself am not sure of what they are.
and i seem to be drawing contradicting parallels with this movie and religion but no matter what, i still say this movie is DISTURBING.
a real parody mockery.
does it even make sense to call it that?

okay tuition calls.

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there


American Tale (or is it tail?) is on disney now and it's the FIRST movie i've ever watched. or remember watching as my first.

since waking the day sort of rolled by without any significance.
-churned out a few rough-edged rainbow connection tunes on the piano
-ate lunch, ate dinner (crabs and the good stuff)
-napped
-jay chou and the rainbow connection
-american tale/tail

i shall add a new one to the list since i've nothing else to do.
-monsters inc.

this is really pathetic.
the highlight of my day was enormous sri lankan crabs and fried mantous.

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

at my mother's insistence, i didn't go to school today and thus fully utilised my mc. my mother has some strange ideas on skipping school and public transport sometimes. at times she's got an iron grip on my attendance in school, giving me a quota of ponning once a semester, and at times she's encouraging me to skip because she thinks i need the rest.
and on early morns, when i offer to take public transport she's adamant about sending me and would wake up just to send me to school on early morns.
but anything after the time she wakes up on her own, she practically forces me to take public transport and refuses to send me anywhere.
mighty strange indeed.

so anyway caught The Notebook
it's pretty good and i wanna read the book.
which is a better deal altogether, watch the movie then read the book, because the last time i read A Walk To Remember and when i watched the movie, i was so mad that the movie didn't do the book justice at all.
but personally, i think The Notebook's storyline was better than A Walk To Remember.

so that was my day followed by sushi with my mother sis and aunt. an average ordinary day like any other.

woke up this morn to find these red spots on my face and arms. thought they were rashes but they didn't itch. anyway they continued to spread across my face chest and arms so i pinkslipped out of school to get it checked.

apparently they're bleeding spots. so had a blood test and everything looks okay THANKFULLY, except for a slightly low white blood count.
hope those darrn spots subside soon or i'm up for another blood test.

and cause i pinkslipped it sounds like i MISSED alot:( like econs and hairdos.

anyway i've come to the conclusion that some things are better left buried. i can let them resurface and gnaw into my guts, or i can them simply bury them as a past inkling.
because there is simply no point in dwelling in such inconsequential matters or investing in something that wouldn't reap results.

it's a good thing to get in touch with the inner self, to know and acknowledge the feelings and emotions. but i think there's a time to get out of it.
and now's the time.
and more importantly, i'll take the future as it comes.

busy days where i don't have time to think are sounding better and better to me.
to think is so self-create problems that shouldn't be created.
and to be busy is to bury them under piles of work and activities so those nasty little problems won't resurface in near future to gnash their teeth in your subconsciousness.

so today i made it a point to listen in class, talk as much as possible, sleep and travel from place to place.
brotherhood again. sobs again.
except i didn't feel so retarded because jame was wailing and sobbing right beside me :)
was late for tuition and trigo is.
i have no words for that.
michelle and i had a good time flipping through my sister's yearbook and we identified our relief pe teacher who looks exactly the same.

my week is starting to degenerate.
my pattern has taken effect.

So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay
-Robert Lee Frost

ok couldnt edit the post for my links for some reason so just get the pics from my links okay?

econs was terribly hard and i just realised i read my DRQ wrongly so i figured i'm gonna fail this one.
class was surprisingly relaxing and training wasn't too bad.

it's been a rather uneventful day.
i can't think of anything to say.
and it's a rather melancholy night.

someday we'll find it
the rainbow connection
the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

i am suddenly suffering from a short-term memory loss because for some reason i can't recall anything that happened today except sitting with betty and cheryl during lunch and hearing bets SING and SING and.. talk and talk.
and maybe pw because that was the last period of the day.
oh and darius telling everyone that he thought my US cousins were hot:)
and spending ONLY $2.50 on food today but i was staaaarving like a starved pig.
cereal for recess alone is not enough to sustain me for 2 periods.

so, my pms pangs have been acting up recently in the strangest ways possible.
the last week i was on a real low, with my mood swings deciding to take on the role of a pendulum bob, going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
and i've been expecting them to hit me real hard this week but i'm in a surprisingly chipper mood.
and nothing good even happened today.
but for that matter, nothing bad happened as well.

so to say, ignorance is bliss.
because when i don't know anything, don't hear anything, don't experience anything, i'm rather happy and satisfied to muddle along with my own life ignoring the yelling sirens of STUDY OR YOU WILL NOT GET PROMOTED and the irritating whispers of green eyed monsters.

but at the same time, i do wish i had an exciting life.

today was a bad day gone good.
didn't go to church today and woke up to realise that the family had gone for breakfast without me.
so spent a good hour online loading pics and thinking about what to eat for lunch.

quarelled with my mother over the most inconsequential things which resulted in a huge blow which i thought would blow over but I THOUGHT WRONG.
anyway bit of drama there where i very stupidly walked out of the house and hailed a cab to meet mich.
but i don't regret it because..

BROTHERHOOD WAS THE BEST MOVIE I'D SEEN IN AGES AND AGES AND..

yeah :)
i sobbed my heart out from the beginning to the end and i reckon the couple next to me thought i'd gone abit crazy.
and it didn't really help that michelle ended up one seat in front of me so i was sitting by myself technically and sobbing.
and mich was such a spoiler, ruining the somber mood, when she turned around and burst into laughter.
BECAUSE OF MY FACE.
and the fact that she was wondering who it was that was crying so loudly.
it wasn't that loud.
it just wasn't silent.
but the tears and 8.50 was well SHED and SPENT.

i am going to buy the vcd :D

joan: i promise i'll mail you by this week! and pigliver porridge is DAMN good huh.
jame: YEAH we start tomorrow kae? GYM BUDDIES:)
velda: yeaah! fcbbg, those days were gooooood. anyway catch up some time okay? gotta go out soonsoon.

allright new pics are up :)
click here for pics of family&friends
and click here for pics on the 23rdjuly.