ok, this anon person, is from church.
please, anon, tell me who you are.

in preparation for my CAP portfolio i must say i am very grateful to darius for his comments and help and of course to miss netty who's popstar comments have drilled me into improving my work.
and my dear sweet father has given me a pen, saying he hopes when i write with it, it would motivate me to write great things and produce great results.
but practically speaking, that pen is too heavy, too thick and too slippery for me to write swiftly and efficiently during exams.
on the other hand however, that special pen might just work wonders.
after all, it is a very sweet and unexpected gift from my dad.

never thought i'd say this, but i actually miss the former 1AA1 although i did profess great hatred for it before.
call it reminiscence, call it whining, call it indecisive, etc etc, call it whatever you want, but i do miss it badly.

on a side note, i haven't lost any weight.
i am unhaapppyyy :(

i don't know what to say.

stress is something i'd never truly felt, but now i feel stressed. stressed over nothing.
or perhaps i'm stressed over the mother and the father who won't stop putting the pressure on me to read the newspapers everyday, enrich my brain with articles from magazines like newsweek and the economist, putting my brain into gear for math by practising everyday and being prepared by reading my econs notes ahead of lesson.
the thing is, i don't want to do these things.
my brain tells me i should, but my body just doesn't do it.
and besides with them pushing the pressure button, the more i don't feel like doing it.

and besides, how do i know i'm stressed?
i've been shopping. the only stress reliever for singaporeans is shopping.
reading doesn't help, because you'll have mothers and fathers hounding you to put that trashy book DOWN and spend time productively reading the economist.
playing sport doesn't help, because you have coaches and teachers bugging you to run run run even more than you should.
going online doesn't help, because again you have the M and the F bugging you to get off NOW.
same goes for tv.
the only way is shopping.
even though you have the mother and the father yelling at you to stop spending money, at least you have something nice in your possession.

so right now i have lovely bowed ballet pumps with a kitten heel and a white tshirt :)

yesterday was owen's birthday dinner and just wanna say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OWEN CHONG!
thanks for inviting me and letting me sing you the very special song :D

anyway had a slack training where i sat down and yelled timings out for people cause i wasn't meant to have court time and it started pouring so i couldn't leave.
there was a blackout at the squash courts and it was pretty cosy, all of us stuck in that tiny space with little light streaming in from the window.

anyway i GOT BACK MY OLD CLASS!
although the only people remaining are me and al.
BUT.. mus michie rachel lim weikong will be with me :) and everyone else.. i have no clue who they are.
anyway, some of the class postings are pretty damn screwed.
slow and schannie with 8 and 9 respectively got posted to the second last class??

hmm, anyway had a pretty good time last night.
doing nothing much except having dinner at owen's birthday and watching twisted, which liked.
darius and i were betting during the movie who the murderer and turns out both of us were wrong.
i normally don't speculate cause i feel too stupid and its too taxing on my brain, but sitting next to snaketrouble king darius makes my brain wheels click.

woke up bright and early today to go and support ne quiz.
hitched a ride from nicestgirlintheworld celene and had a pretty good time there.
acjc won by the way.
went to mark's house after that and had vcd marathon.
watched ten things and i LOVE julia stiles!
cant wait to watch the prince and me.
watched my sassy girl after that, love that show :)

had dinner with rents, bought a cd rom, and there is something terribly wrong with my spelling today.
i keep spelling bought as bout and a ride as around and all the other clueless mistakes.
so i shall quit blogging for the day.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3: 5-6
and it's true because when i realised i had to appeal, and had to go through much worrying and uncertainty, it brought me closer to God and i guess for that i'm grateful.
i've been slipping and i knew it.
but so far God has been good to me.
He helped me with my swift appeal, He helped me with my subject combinations.
and i want to thank him for all that.

and though there are still certain things i do not understand, but i know He holds the master plan, so in God i trust :D

and people around me have been depressed, upset and disappointed and i hope this encourages them.

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us"
Romans 5:3-5

and to all of you who are weary, God says this to you :)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burndened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28

"Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth."
Ecclesiastes 11:9

i dont think i've reached the level of Christian maturity that i would like to reach, and i don't know if this sounds pretentious, but God has been good to me, and i'd like to give something back to him and share with others His goodness.
God is with me and He has changed me.
bit by bit that is because i dont think i have changed much, but i pray for strength and tenacity to walk close to Him and not wander like i am prone to.

and training was good today.
tough but good.
i felt like i had a real workout, although i don't think my fats are going away.
and joan reminded me of something that miss goh used to say, and it really cheered me up.
"COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, GIRLS, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!"

you know those days where it just doesn't feel right?
how nothing goes wrong, but nothing feels right?
today's such a day.

ac just doesn't feel like ac anymore.
i can't explain it, but the feeling just isn't there anymore.
coming to ac now, just feels like i'm going to a different place.
and everyone's leaving, and new people are coming.
not that i have anything against that, but perhaps its shifting my comfort zone.

squash game today.
underestimated anderson in my opinion, though we won.
boys played a really tight game.
though they lost, i'm real proud of them :)
anyway, here's to a good season.

there are many things that i feel like saying, but i don't think i can say them in my blog because some people do read my blog.
i just hope for better and stronger days ahead.

FL is a bitch; a real bitch.
like seriously, catching me for a skirt that is longer than half the school's?!
and a bra that no one knew was black until i told them?
and the stupid FL just HAD to yell at me so loudly and passionately in front of BB, theG, ML, NC and some random person.
like seriously, and does he have to speak so condescendingly?
stupid biaaatch.
and after that BB was just oozing with sarcasm and she didnt even know who i was
and she asked me and i told her and said i was here to speak to her because i was the transfer student and needed to do my subjects and she started nodding knowingly and saying how she noticed me since yesterday because my bra was kind of bright.
which is TOTAL BULLSHIT because yesterday i was wearing the mg uniform, and my bra was navy blue, AND i'd tucked the bra straps under my pinafore so she couldnt have seen anything!!!!!!!!
gRr.
i BET im getting such bloody treatment from BB cause i'm an appeal student.
i am real REAL pissed.

my appeal got through :)
i really have to thank God for that.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline
2 Timothy 1:7
Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you - guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.
2 Timothy 1:14

this is the second chance that He has given me, and He has reminded me that within me is a spirit of power, love and self-discipline.
and i really want to thank Him for giving me this second chance, and reminding me that I can do all things in Him.
and with the Holy Spirit, i know i can protect and treasure this second chance.
i really pray for the faith and the strength to carry it through.

yeah, not only was He merciful and kind enough to let my appeal through, he let my appeal be the first to get through; to ease my worries and calm my anxiety.
and to mus, ej, matt, sarahann, mark, i'll be praying for you guys!
hope to see you in ac asap!

i'm feeling really tired.
didn't get a wink of sleep last night, and this lack of sleep is really taking its toll on me.
i am going to catch some tv before sleeping!

right i am so irritated.
fellow 14pointer friends got back into ac, but me, a 14pointer did not get back into ac.
and i have four bonus points to minus too!
upset i am.
anyway, got my appeal done this morn, mdm told me to report to acjc on monday so hope and pray all's well.

i am in love with my hk drama.
i sound like a complete twit, but i am in LOVE with it dammit.
today is saturday so they won't show me, and i feel so sad, like something's missing.
and i am aware i sound like a complete moron so nevermind.

had a barbeque tonight. nice :)
asparagus soup was good.
and the beef wasn't too fantastic, but the lamb and seafood was gorrrrgeouus!
so was the salad.

there are many things i feel like saying, but i guess they don't belong in a blog.
maybe a private one.
or perhaps i should get my hand into action and actually purchase a proper diary to write in.
but, typing is so much faster.

anyway im off to catch some tv, although i must say saturday night tv sucksssss.
alotalot.

oh right, who's anon by the way?
anon: sorry, but i was just generalising, sorry if you don't agree anyway. err right and who are you?

ok anyway today was great, had a nice time with fiona :)
nothing much to say except had a pretty decent haul, rather dotty though, but it was still a pleasant day out.
tomorrow is posting, i just hope and PRAY that i don't have to appeal back in to ac.
14 is sucha vague number.
ugh.

training was a complete waste of time today for me liz and fong cause no one could get the cupboard open and our shoes were inside.
so we managed 120 situps and a little boastdrive barefoot plus some physical exercise mr tan made us do despite our bare feet!
so now my toes hurt like hell from bouncing on the balls of my feet.

anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHULING :)

hmm allright since yesterday was way more eventful than today, i shall blog bout yesterday.
again it shall go in point form.

- trooped off to becky's house where we watched Freaky Friday and consumed a ton of cereal, chips and chocolate.
- went to Raffles Hospital to get becky's contacts done where she was so excited she wouldn't stop poking her eyes cause they felt like jellies.
- hunted around for shuling's present, bought it, argued over prices of wrapping paper.
- sat down at delifrance and had yummy mayo chicken croissant and soup
- had craving for kenny rogers so ate that and a ton of mac and cheese.
- bought shuling's cake, and made jed promise he'll pay for it, so now jed owes me money.
- cabbed down to shuling's birthday.
- played nutty games, ate some more, took retarded pictures (refer to michelle's uhh, pictures)
- embarrassing SHIT happened, shall not go into it :(
- played more nutty games, then went home and ate instant noodles

allright, my mother told me im getting fat.
and since she hardly ever tells me that, i believe her.
so in an attempt to lose a little weight, for lunch all i had was an apple and clam chowder.
but by the time training came, my stomach was growling so bad i had a small pack of twisties and cup noodles.
and dinner was normal.
SO, i shall NOT have tonight.
after all, i am going shopping with fiona tmr, and i do wanna make sure i can squeeze into clothes.
uRghh.

this is such a fluffy entry.
i am not saying anything substantial here.
instead i am going on and on like a floozywamboozie yakking on and on about my weight and what i eat.
shit man.
anyway, today is tv day.
i have decided it is high time i catch up on all those glorious hk drama serials i've been missing cause of school!

and i'm beginning to fear my future.
watching tv, and seeing all of them have bright fixed futures where all the problems are solved with the coming episode is making me see the stark difference between the reality of life and tv.
even poor characters have their dreamlike solutions of a great business opportunity or a prince charming that whisks them out of poverty.
the parts of studying and cramming like mad for studies never seem to materialise.
the parts where people have to slog, yelled at by their bosses, biasness, politics, all never seem to come out.
even if they do, we know it is solved within the next few episodes.
but that never happens in real life i know.
i may slog like mad for my studies, but i may not do well.
and great business opportunities come when the moon turns green, and my rich handsome prince charming is probably nonexistant and unwilling to drag me out of my poverty lest he gets involved in it.

it's true isnt it?
everything's so practical nowadays.
the rich pair up with the rich, the goodlooking with the goodlooking, the smart with the smart.
there aren't such things as fairytales where the handsome rich prince charming sets his eyes on the poor impoverished girl and loves her so much he's willing to sacrifice all for her and take her out of poverty.
no, there is no such thing.
nowadays, rich handsome princes aren't so charming.
rich handsome princes want a fellow rich beautiful princess to match their looks, and if they should fall, at least they know they have their equally rich princess to fall back on.

pragmatism - it's everything.
what an unromantic world this is.

ok got my own chatterbox up.
hope it works!

Well it's been building up inside of me
For oh I don't know how long
I don't know why but I keep thinking
Something's bound to go wrong

But she looks in my eyes
And makes me realise
That she says Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything turn out allright

Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby

I guess I should've kept my mouth shut
When I started to brag about my car
But I can't back down now because
I've pushed the other guys too far

She makes me come alive
And makes me wanna drive
When she says Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out allright

Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby

She told me Baby when you race today
Just take along my love with you
And if you knew how much I loved you
Baby nothing could go wrong with you

Oh what she does to me
When she makes love to me
And she says Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out allright

Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby

Beach Boys - Don't Worry, Baby

i know i sound kinda gay posting this up, but i love this song :)

That thing. That moment. When you kiss someone and
everything around you becomes hazy and the only thing in focus
is you and this person. And you realise that that person is the
only person you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life.
And for one moment you get this amazing gift, and you wanna
laugh, and you wanna cry.. because you feel so lucky that you've
found it and so scared that it'll go away all at the same time.
- Never Been Kissed

This has to be my favourite movie of all time.
Everything sweet and bitter, dreams and reality has been encompassed into one movie.
the childish dreams of having my very own prince sweep me off my feet; to really discover myself and have people accept me for who i am; to know that through these awkward moments i'd have my own precious ones too.
i love this movie :)
and of course michael vartan whoooooooooooosh.

anyway today was a good day.
since plans of meeting up with the rest was cancelled cause i had to be home early, i went to holland v for ipoh horfun with liz.
i am fascinated with holland v.
i realised if you really take your time to prowl through the little shops, you find loads of cool stuff!
so anyway i got a belt and rented two vcds.
watched Never Been Kissed for the ninth time and rented Freaky Friday as well.
i must say Lindsay Lohan has grown to be rather pretty since Parent Trap.
anyhoots, i was having strong cravings to watch Romeo + Juliet and My Girl one and two, but they didnt have it :(
nevermind, i shall rent those another time.
too bad i don't stay near holland v.
its a grrrrrreat place :)

new layout
simple one this time
no self made pictures.
koped this picture.
but layout's mine ha ha.

okok, and i really have to say this.

gab: i just read your blog and since you don't have a guestbook or tagboard or whatever, i'll have to write it here. and i just wanna say, i think it's great the way you're happier now, and how much better you're doing. and you know something? i'm really glad and proud of the way you're chinning up and stuff. so just do your best and let God do the rest alright? and whatever you said in your blog, you are SO right :)

Sometimes i feel
Like i am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there's always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say

Was I out of my head
Was I out of my mind
How could I ever been so blind
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say
Only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then it's time you spoke up too.

Fastball - Out of my Head

my favourite song for the moment.
had special meaning for me wayway long ago because this was what i hoped someone would say at the beginning, and i ended up feeling that i had to say this to someone.
but this was a long time ago and now, i just appreciate the song :)
ha ha.

now that i am less tired from camp, i can afford to blog properly about camp.
ha ha, i am currently suffering from the aftermath of training camp - aches.
oh and i realised i forgot to mention i sprained my jaw on friday morning. how dumb does that sound.
a sprained jaw. jeEz.
but the good part was that i got a pink slip cause i needed to see a doc, so after seeing the doc my mother told me to rest at home before going for camp. so no classes for me on friday :)
anyway, i am too lazy to blog fully bout camp, so i shall write it in point form.

day1
- spent a good part of friday at camp speaking with clenched teeth cause i couldnt speak properly - dratty jaw.
- had dinner at holland v where peizhen tried to ask the lady at the horfun counter if she could have icecream! ha ha
- had friendly with safra, lost to a p6 girl :(
- slept with liz and ended up playing tug of war for our 'blanket' which was another sleeping bag.
- rained heavily, iris got her shorts wet ! hahaha!

day2
- woke up, ran ten rounds
- had brekkie before proceeding to do goalsetting and mental skills training
- caught a half an hour nap before sc friendly
- had a pretty tight game with gloria from sc
- had lunch at the cafe, before sleeping for an hour, where we couldn't get up so madam resorted to pouring water on our faces. i was a lil pissed, but it was kinda our fault.
- had training FOLLOWED by water training where we doggy paddled six laps. i wanted to dieeee.
- started to pour, so nightgames were cancelled, and waited ridiculously long for mr pang to arrive with our chicken rice
- 'crashed' redbluegold :)
- crashed the swimmers' camp while they watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the cosy comfort of the airconditioned dance studio.
- headed back to our own un-airconditioned camp back in oldham wing and spent the night playing bridge.
- borrowed inflatable mattresses and had a good sleep.

day3
- woke up too late for morning run
- had breakfast then worship
- had a short nap, where we couldnt wake up again, so madam had a long talk with us which made me so guilty :(
- ran five rounds and had circuit training (my arms wanted to die)
- went for lunch at some place in dover
- came back, played matches against the boys
- cleaned up our area
- mini-waterpolo, where philly was star player!

ha ha, never thought i'd say this, but wow philly has a sixpack! and he doesnt look the least bit like the sort who has one.
no offense philbert. you are waterpolo star player!
anyhoots, i think im gonna have a great day vegging at home today :)
i missed home dearly while i was at camp.
and besides, all my friends are at camp.
and i don't feel so close to certain friends anymore and since i'm not particularly in the mood for going out, i shall call them out another day.
like i said, i have to make an extra effort to keep tight bonds between friends.
this is an aimless entry.

and gosh can't wait til eric and gab gets back!
eric: real sorry bout the housephone, and i can't wait til you get back and you owe me mail !
okk, this is real spastic, but NO MORE PE FOR ME FOR A MONTH cause season is coming!!!

urgh, shall blog bout better stuff next time.
by the way, camp pics are up!!

squash camp is finally over.
i don't think i've perspired more in my entire life.
anyway, it was good, it was bad.
i'm proud of the way i survived it; but it was bad during all the tough trainings.
and i'm too tired to say anything.
pics will be up sooon!!!!

and i must say i'll miss everyone who's leaving ac :(

reading fiona's blog has left a bittersweet taste in my mouth.
it has me reminiscing about training days and nationals back in mg, where we did all the tiring, but strangely fun stuff during training (like 2000 skips), and the thrill of leaving class early before nationals, where we would raise our hand and say "err miss/mrs so and so, i have to go now, i have a match" and the whole class would trill "good luck shumin!" as i walk out of class, happy to be missing lessons, but scared/excited because of the match.

and it certainly has me thinking about the warm familiarity of mr koh and all his lameness.
the way he never scolded us, the easy mute way he had of training us and letting us develop our own style of play, and of course i could never forget all his corny jokes and the way he was such a great listener, hearing us churn out the endless gossip.

it's gotten me remembering the training sessions we had, where we'd sit on the tiled bleacher-ike steps of the squash court, or fight for the brown sofa which has probably endless sweat stains and the constant doodling and scribbling of 'quote of the days' on the whiteboard.
it's also gotten me thinking about the squash court that had grown to be like my second home; how it was the most comfortable place in the whole school. how after an extremely bad day in school, i could enter the squash court and feel as though i belonged.
and all the little minute details matter so much to me now.
the trusty old dustbin that we used to prop the squash court door, and how convenient it was to empty our rubbish on our way out or in. the numerous ads and newspaper cuttings we had on our squash board, which we'd read over and over whenever we were bored.
and of course not forgetting the rotating wall fans which we'd selfishly use for ourselves by stopping the oscillations.
i miss the damn place. i even miss the green sports complex where we'd skip endlessly or do our little physical drills and conditionings.

and i miss the team so badly too.
the way we never gelled properly at the beginning with all the bitching and misgivings we had and how we overcame them all.
the way we painstakingly organised team lunches and team stayovers to strengthen team bonds.
the way we made up silly cheers and songs, and exchanged sweet kooky handmade cards and presents before a game.
the way argued incessantly about team outfits and when to wear which shirt/shorts/skirt.
the way we cheered our lungs out for each other, and built each other up, and the team prayers before and after a game.
the way we all felt queasy at the sight of kallang squash and tennis centre and how we'd fight to nab our favourite side of Court 1.
there are so many little things i could mention.

tomorrow is my first ACJC squash TRAINING camp.
i've never been to training camp.
and it's reminded me of all the squash/sports camp we had.
the wonderful two day one night squash camp we had, where we had lovely pizza hut lunches and squashie idol topped off with a great inspiring movie and of course a lovely picnic at west coast.
it's reminded me of the KL sports trip, where we had an awesome time shopping, training/playing, and all the glorious food and the memorable trip to genting highlands as well as the boat ride to the crab island.
i certainly hope when i leave ACJC, i can carry with me sweet wonderful memories with me like i did with MGS.

and i am truly grateful to God for giving me all these wonderful memories.
for blessing me with such a wonderful gift, and being such a source of strength.
and this is my all time favourite verse for nationals :)

"When you go to war against your enemies and swee horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the Lord your God will be with you. Do not be faint hearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory."
Deuteronomy 20:1-4

council interview, replied stupid answers.
shan't post anything up here, in case it reflects my stupidity.
haaarumphh.
ok but it wasn't that bad in my opinon.

had friendly with the standrews boys after and they're improved HELL lot man!
i used to be able to beat them FLAT, and they beat me this time :(
then i saw patrick and i haven't seen him in a while so had a slight chat.
apparantly he's organising the trip for the national team to new zealand, and whew i didn't know he was THAT into squash.

anyhooots, iris is a very very funny girl :)
ok i don't have anything really substantial to blog bout.
evidently.
squash camp coming up!
im starting to get wee bit excited bout it :)

jae: thanks for thinking i should have gotten a1. cambridge must have screwed up along the waay :(

velda: hey veldie! whee, yeah thanks man, we shared three good years together! ha ha, ooh! sentosa! next week?! urgh gotta lose some fatty fats first :)

i've been having a few conversations about dependable friends with couple of my friends and it just made me realise how lonely i was; because when we actually boil it down to the actual tight bunch of buddies that we have to stick with us through our lives, i realised only have one, or very very few.

and it just made me feel so lost because all of a sudden, it felt as though i had no friends at all, and that all my friendships were superficial ones.
and i suppose the tightest bonds are formed during secondary school.
the time where your personality is transforming and you're learning to find yourself, and these are the people that were around you during that change, during that search for self identity.

and so, all the more, i think i should make an effort to keep in touch and treasure these friendships.
until i make them friends for life, friends that i'll never forget even in my old age.
and perhaps, during our old age, we'd still meet up.

but of course change is inevitable. as we grow up, we have less and less friends.
circumstances force friendships and people apart.
when some go overseas, the bonds are strained and weakened, and perhaps the friendship can never be the same again.
when we're all out in the working world, difference in status, work environment, etc will tear friends apart.

as much as the phrase 'friends forever' is easy to say and write, and hope and believe in, it perhaps isn't true.
because right now, as students, our status is the same and our scope of the world narrow.
so we have merely confined ourselves into this small cubicle, protected by walls of innocence, and surrounded by the security of friends.

but once we grow up, and our exposure to the outside world is widened, things will change against our wills.
as much as we'd like to say materialism does not matter, it does.
our friends now may not be our friends in the future because of difference in status.
rich friends would perhaps have better opportunities and connections, or perhaps inheritance of businesses, and this elevates their status at a young age.
their activities and ability to do certain things would most definitely be different from an ordinary joe and jane who used to be their friend.
ordinary joes and janes would not have the same opportunities and chances because of monetary problems, and would have to slog from a lower step of the corporate ladder.
this difference in status, and cash in the pocket, leads to different lifestyles.
and all these would tear friends apart because if both do not lead the same lifestyle, how do they continue being friends without sharing the same lives?

so its really kept me in fear that i may lose all the friends i have now.
that my very best friend right now, may not be my friend in the future.
so all the more, i have to make an effort to hold on to all that i have now.
of course i have to learn to let go when its inevitable, but i guess all i wanna say is treasure the friendships, because friendships go a long way.
as we grow older, fewer friends we have.
and its so important that we know who will be there for us, and strengthen those bonds, so in the future, they would be unbreakable.
because friends go a LONG way :)

today was a good day.
i got my jeans, although they're a lil big, but that was the look i sorta wanted.
inspired by this girl who walked into zara wearing an awesome pair of diesel jeans and a blacktshirt and i was thinking in my head, wow she looks good.
she wasn't very pretty or anything, but she just had this aura.
so instead of buying all the tshirts and tanks i wanted from zara, i dumped them all on a table and sped off to levis to try on some jeans :)

then on my way to meeting my mother, i got a call from her asking whether i was gonna cut my hair.
so, inspired again, i trooped to The Scene and got a haircut!
randy wasn't there, but i had another stylist called jack and i must say jack is better than randy so i think i'll let jack cut my hair from now on

and then when i met my mother after my haircut, my sweet mother decided to get me this really nice hotpink handbag and blue and white striped tiny box bag. so i'm rather glad with my shopping haul.
although i had to pay for the damn jeans and haircut myself :(

and this is another lame and useless post.
cause i don't feel the least bit insightful.
i should start blogging bout ISSUES.
at least it isn't mindless.
unlike this rambling about shopping.

i missed combined schools selections for the second time in my life knowing i should probably be able to make it.
the last time i missed it, i felt like kicking myself on the behind and griped and groaned a hell lot.
but this time, i'm not sure if i should regret it or not.
squash just doesn't seem as important to me as it used to.

spent a really good day at home sleeping and just catching up on the little things i don't normally get to do like watch a lil tv or read.
and it felt really good.
and tomorrow, I WANNA GO SHOPPING!
levis didnt have my size for the jeans i wanted, and i spotted this really cute pink tee, white tank and white skirt that i want.
i'm also looking out for a decent pair of white or blue capri pants.
hmm plus i've still got my eye on those gorgeous white adidas.
and i'm looking for red or pink flats.
i saw this really nice blue buckle pair of flats but didn't feel prepared to pay that much for flatties.
and unfortunately, i don't have much money on me.
so its either i spend on the tees and skirts and forego the jeans or buy the jeans and just one more tee or smth like that.

talking about shopping is annoying me like hell.
cause it just makes me realise how much i want, but i can't get.
exactly like econs.
opportunity cost and all that rubbish.
choices.
URGH.
what a lame blog i have.
honest.
i should start blogging about deep and insightful things.

i shall do that, when i feel insightful.

ok someone help me here.
you know the little blue bar on top of every window? yeah, how do you change the words up there?
cause mine says "New Page 1" for my blog and that's mighty retarded so yeah.

anyway, school was pretty fun today.
had two free periods plus, a slack chinese period in the com lab so overall i had fun :)
plus pe was shotput so thats pretty allright too!

training was a little dry and boring after a while cause there were only 5 of us and no coach.
i've realised how important it is to have a coach supervising and coaching you, and a subtle number of people training along with you.
it makes things so much more effective and entertaining.

anyway i NEED a haircut.
although some people did say my hair is quite nice like that in a messy kinda way, but its not exactly a very consistent and flattering cut, sooo.. HAIRCUT TIME!
just dont know when.
and im not sure if i should go for combined schools trials tmr.
last year, i'd have been very confident about getting in; but this year the feeling isn't the same.
i've deproved and some others have improved; and more importantly, i'm losing the fire and spirit.
all i can think about is how i wanna go shopping tomorrow.

and DO YOU KNOW MOST GUYS DONT KNOW WHAT DENSE MEANS?!
argh. how dense is THAT!
goodness.
hmm.. after training today, the squashies were trading ghost stories. was pretty spooked.
squash camp next week.
waaahey.
we can celebrate smoochiefongchi's bday :)
anyway lame post.

i shall keep my promise to dear saralow and blog bout her.
ha ha after reading what she wrote bout me, i guess we haven't had many H to H's.
anyway, saralow is one of the most genuinely nice people around.
you can really tell she cares for her friends. its just .. overflowing outta her.
anyway yeah, we did have those glum and gloomy tension-filled conversations couple of weeks back, but hey, everything is A-OKAY now man!
and to tell the truth, i'm mighty glad she and i had that talk.
it kinda smoothened things a lil.
so, thankyou SEXYSARALOWWWWW!

anyway everyone's thinking bout poly and its gotten me thinking too.
cause i DO know what i wanna do in the future and i don't think i've got all that useful a combi, except for the fact i'm allowed to do math.
but its the feeling of growing up too soon, and thrust into an environment that may not entirely be the best for me.
but i thought about the reasons why i wanted to stay in acjc, and i think its cause i do enjoy myself in school, and the fact that acjc has chapel.
chapel and morning devotions and prayers somewhat help me get through the day.
it may seem longwinded and a complete waste of time, but i think these little things really help make the day brighter.
plus, i have squash in acjc.

and I HATE THURSDAYS.
they're just about the yuckiest days of the week and i hate them.
cause it sucks.
training today was pretty allright, i GOT SIX POINTS OFF HUIJUAN!
nothign much to boast about, but doesnt matter :) hehehe

so.. thats all for my terrible thursday.

new purple theme.
i think i messed up the links and layout a lil.
cant be bothered to fix it right now.
just enjoy the colours.
ha ha ha.

pe was hell today.
pe is hell all the time.
had real bad cramps and felt all dizzy after pe.
anyhoots, shuchua crashed today and dont think it was too beneficial to him.

had to support xcountry after school today.
ha ha mark brought his uk fhm for me to see, and it has some nasty pictures in it.
some guy was lifting too much weights and cause it was too heavy, he shat out his intestines.
like eewww!
anyway back to xcountry, it was sweltering hot and we ended up chilling at sportslink and macs before rushing back for prize giving.
and we picked this spacious spot, thinking we got it lucky, and before we knew it, we were surrounded by rj people and they cheer mighty loud.
although i must say they sound pretty good :)

i dont really feel the ac school spirit.
even though i'm in ac now, i felt so much more excited when i heard mg's name being called out and i cheered for them, even though cross isn't my sport.
and when ac's name was called out, i didnt feel anything.
maybe a twinge of pride, but nothing more.
and i found out one NASTY thing bout the acsi boys.
cause they're ALWAYS winning golds, they don't cheer for their school unless its a gold.
how unsupportive is THAT?!
i was flabbergasted when i found out, and they went on and on about their "if you ain't a gold, you ain't worth nothing man!" and i was just shellshocked. cause, MAN! its your SCHOOOOOOL!

anyway im so ashamed of acjc's school spirit.
or me perhaps.
ha ha guess i gotta do my bit?
hmm but rj kinda wowed me with their spirit.
guess i gotta start getting into the groove of the ac school spirit.
and those awful ac boys, too proud of acsi to cheer for acjc.
and mgs, well, i don't think they feel a part of acjc.
maybe if mgs had become an acgs it would have been better.
actually sounds pretty nice dont you think?
acgs :) ha ha ha.

anyway, i think i'd better run, so toodles.
by the way, why is EVERYONE claiming eric as their best friend?
jeEzz, adam and gab, eric's MY bestfriend man.
you can be his.. good friend :) ha ha ha.

haha lesley, of course those people who write the things know what they're talking about.
but i was referring to people who READ the poems and deem them good cause they're hard to understand. like.. ok just know that im referring to the people who READ them and not write them.

and my head is spinning for some reason.
not headache.
just spinning.
and its mighty irritating.

anyway im happy today.
cause pms pangs are gone. got my period today. so HELL YEAH.
pms pangs are gonnnnne.

and i cant really think of much to say cause of my awful spinning head.

ok nice plain layout this time.
the green grass was making my eyes hurt a lil, although someone did comment that the fish and chips looked VERY yummy!
ha ha.

anyway ac founders day today.
squeezed into my sister's xs uniform, could barely breathe.
anyhoots, i don't really acjc founders hymns. they're less sweet and melodic if you know what i mean.
and we didnt sing bless this school :(
anyway spent most of the time doodling over the program.
me and mus were so bored we had our own irc chat where we went "oh yarx so damn kool ritex.. my cca ish skuash.." ha ha.

anyway caught honey after that.
i really really liked it
the dance rockkked! and jessica alba is WOWWEEEEEEE CHOOOOCHOOOOOOO DAMN FRIIIIICKIN HOTTTT!
im so inspired to lose weight.
and the kids were lovely.

anyhooots, talked to gab just now.
i realised i do miss gab quite a bit. i miss his nonsense, his house and just hanging out with him.
so gabriel tan aik hoong, dont worry bout things, and hurry back okaaay?