i never thought i'd ever say this, but i'm so glad to be back in school.
even though i had oodles of fun during the hols, it's so nice to get back to a regular school day and feeling like a useful person instead of a lump of walking talking flesh.
and seeing all my girls every single day :)

ok, i seriously can't remember anything that happened the last few days.
except that school was pretty good.
ok lemme try.

monday
- our new NLs with sturdy non-zaogeng staircases! two thumbs up for this one ;)
- our renovated classroom has strange fake looking wood for floors and smells like, urgh, PAINT.
- err.. lessonslessonsclassclassfoodireallycannotremember.
- oh yes, i passed my econs test :)

tuesday
- nigel drawing fake freckles all over my arm and making me guess which were real freckles and which were fake. zZz.
- telling jokes in the void deck, with huiying's lousy comprehension part A part B jokes!
- and.. again i can't remember anything.

wednesday (this one i can remember. cause today is wednesday. hurhur)
- class photo! where the formal was informal and the informal was really informal.
- sooz being a _I_ _O today heh heh
- the new shit story where i laughed and laughed til i seriously couldn't breathe and my stomach ached so bad
- university admissions talk

talking about university admissions made me slightly pumped up about studying harder and putting together my CV and personal statements and testimonials.
and wondering what i've done in the last 6 years of my life to make me special, unique and a student deserving to go to a good university.
and which unis i should apply too.
decisions, decisions.
nevermind, study hard first.

the last few days i've been wondering.
wondering about before, now and the future.
wondering about what to say, what if i'd said and what i want to say.
wondering about what happened, what's happening and what's going to happen.

just wondering.

everytime someone asks me if i'm ready for school, i'll always say YES!
because i want to go back to school, so that makes me feel prepared already.
but in actual fact, i don't think i'm very prepared at all because..

1. i haven't done my e8 essay
2. i haven't finished my e4 essay
3. i haven't done econs holiday homework
4. i haven't read the gp package

which means i actually don't have any completed homework to hand up, which makes me terribly terribly unprepared!

and anyway, whoever said that holidays are meant to rejuvenate is spouting utter rubbish.
because this holidays have been very unproductive but very fun.
BUT, because of the copious amount of food i've consumed, i've put on a little bit of weight.
AND
because of the late nights i've been having, say hello to black eyebags and pimples.
i now resemble a spotty panda.
and to fund all the fun i've been having, i am now very very broke.

ok, i'm feeling very rambly.
all i want is..
study routine start
study hard
do well
A levels OVER.
that is all i want right now.

and very random fact i discovered.
do you know that Popular bookstore has a section called Powerpuff Girls?!
they have sections labelled A'level, Assesment Books, O'level and erm.. Powerpuff Girls.

i was very.. erm.. flabbergasted.

lately, mosquitoes seem to be strangely attracted to my feet.
i have three on my left foot and two on my right.
and when i sleep, it is PURE. AGONY.
it is very very hard to fall asleep when your legs are raised in the air while your hands are scratching your feet.
or when you're rubbing your feet on the sheets in an effort to soothe the itch.

today was popiah/kebab party at rage's house and i couldn't go :(
but i had a pretty good time out with the rents.
because while they were supermarketing, i was glued to a Christian bookstore reading a book called What's A Girl To Do?
i meant to only have a quick browse, but it was so relevant and interesting, before i knew it i'd finished the whole book.
and i found so many cute things today too!

school's starting and for some odd reason i'm quite happy.
happy to have daily recesses and lunches with my girls.
happy to feel productive constantly.
and happy to have almost constant relief from unnecessary thoughts.
so thumbs up for erm.. SCHOOL :)

so anyway, WELCOME HOME GAB AND JO! you've been missed.

and before the night ends, i'd like to say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC CHANG KUANG FU :)

we've been friends for almost 5 years now and from the wee little teens that we were, you are now 18! time to grow up and be a MAN; no longer a boy!
but then, that picture shows that no matter how old you are, you'll always be that boy in slippers and shorts that i spent my growing teenage years with :)

yesterday i went for the Air Supply concert and it was so so good!






my aunt and i. and ok i hate flash.

although when they started to sing Goodbye i almost cried.
i'd heard all those words before.
every single one.
and i don't know whether or not to believe it.
today, when i was out, this shop started to play it, and this huge sense of dejavu just overwhelmed me.
how.. overwhelming.
i hate and love this song.
pfft.

anyway, during the concert, there was this man sitting a couple of rows in front of me and he wouldn't stop waving his hands in the air (because i guess he loves Air Supply).
and his girlfriend was sitting next to him sullenly with her arms crossed.
so he tried to get her enthusiasm up by grabbing her arms and waving them in the air as well.
and she started to look real pissed!
so i think in an effort to cajole her, he stood up, waved his hands frantically in the air and started shaking his ass!
omg, i seriously could not stop laughing.
i was practically shaking in my seat.

and they saved my favourite song for the very last :)

today was a shopping day with the elders in the family.
and i didn't buy anything except a pair of jeans, which i am now regretting.
because they looked nice on me in the shop.
but somehow they don't look so nice on me at home.

and i was soo insulted by this woman today at the showroom!
she was talking to my mom and after a while this is how it went.
woman: (smiles at me, then says to my mom) so, is your daughter planning on going to St Nicholas Girls' School?
(i give her a look)
mother: err my daughter is almost finishing school actually.
woman: ohh! erm.. REALLY!
mother: yes! she'll be going to uni soon.
woman: ohh..
me: !!!!!!!!

like OKAY.
primary 6. 12 years old.
she mistook me for a 12yearold.
HOW CAN SHE?!
and i was dressed up!
pfft!

ok that's my little rant for today.

grumpiness because today the ktv gang is out for a grrreat exhilarating long-awaited session of ktv AND Initial D.
and i'm home.
:(

last year, i had tickets for the jaychou concert (sooo near the front!) but then i couldn't go cos i had to fly to the states for a holiday.
so i missed jay.
this year, i was so looking forward to watching Initial D, and i can't go.
so again, i missed jay.

whatsup. with. that?

anyway i had a damn queer dream last night and i woke up feeling like a sportswoman(?).
don't ask me why, i just did!
and my dream had nothing to do with sports.

i dreamt i was watching a movie with my 'boyfriend' (he was completely faceless by the way) and when we took our seats, the woman next to me kept whispering to her friend and jabbing her finger at me; all in a very blatant fashion.
and i was feeling so disconcerted, and she wouldn't stop pointing at me!
so i whispered (i don't know why i was whispering) STOP IT!
and she shrieked SHE'S GOING TO KISS HER BOYFRIEND!
and i was like no! i'm not going to kiss my boyfriend! NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, anyway!
after that she wouldn't stop gesticulating and talking, but for some reason, it was suddenly as though everything was on mute and i couldn't hear a thing.

then all of a sudden i was on a beach and this guy and girl whom i've never met before came up to me and we started playing volleyball.
halfway while playing volleyball, the girl said this place is going to change. get ready.
and i was like huh??
then there was no longer a volleyball net and i wasn't wearing swimwear anymore.
but the beach became a shopping centre!
as in a shopping centre with no roof and sand on all over.

so i was walking aimlessly trying to find my new friends and i walked and walked and somehow ended up outside my house.
and all of a sudden my 'boyfriend' reappeared.
so i said to him hey if we climb to the roof we can slide down!
we climbed to the roof and started sliding down and everytime we slid down we'd bounce back up the roof and slide down all over again.

and halfway while sliding i woke up.
maybe that's why i felt like a sportswoman.
but i woke up feeling very disoriented and the feeling was that of winning a gold medal.
i felt the same way as how i would feel when i win very important matches.
and.. okay.

my dreams are probably an indication of all the garbage that goes through my head.
and how my mind loves to play tricks on me.

actually, i blogged because i wanted to say something.
but when i started blogging, i didn't want to say it anymore.
because, it didn't seem necessary.
some things are better left unsaid.

:)

today was absolutely FANTASTIC.
the weather was perfect; a cloudy day with a constant breeze.
NO SUN at all!

i had a great group to work with and the kids were sooo adorable!
and i got pretty good at the origami folding after a while and it was so much fun teaching the kids how to do origami.
especially when they all looked so happy holding their little seals, i felt so warm and so accomplished :)


this is one of my favourite little girls!
she was soso cute, she thought the fake seals were real!
and there was one fake seal that was 'sleeping' and she kept patting it and going this one sleeping! this one sleeping!
and the best part was when i asked her what her name she was, she said my name is shumin.
and i was like HEY! you have the same name as me!


my other favourite little girl :)
she's malay and she's so super sweet!
she asked me to teach her origami and she couldn't do it so i kept trying to help her.
and after that she wouldn't stop smiling at me and she held my hand for a little while :)


this is the malay girl's brother.
he looks chinese though.
he was the first one to break the record with 32 minutes!
and he was really cute.
he'd hold the ball and grab his hair ha ha.


OUR KIDS!
these were my favourite bunch of kids.
they wouldn't stop talking to us, especially the boys in orange and red.
and after they left our station, they came back when they finished to talk to us and help us :)
then, they came running towards the tram station and sat with us before we left.
and when we were gonna board the tram, they kept shouting WE WANT TO SIT WITH THEM! and i felt so loved heh :)
then when the tram was driving away, they ran up to the tram and shouted BYE!

on another high note, my parents are back!

i really like this photo of them, cause they accidently wore coordinating colours.


and my pretty sister graduated! :)
and she's coming home in july!

hearing my parents' stories about their trip really makes me wish i went.
ohwell, but anyhow i'm glad they're back :)

as of today, the AAgirls are complete once again cause mich is back from the offshore island of dunnowhere dunnowhere!
and tomorrow we'd be reunited at the zoo because of.. erm zoolympix.

the weather recently has been scorching and stifling with no trace of wind.
and tomorrow we'd have to spend hours at the zoo clad in jeans!
oh help me please, i think it'd be insufferably hoootttt.

i was watching tv just now and when i flipped to a chinese channel i was so shocked to see mgs girls!
it's some chinese young inventor's show called Creatively Mine where students showcase their little inventions.
so anyway, when the mgs team was called out, all the mg girls in the audience stood up and did a CHINESE CHEER!
omg, i didn't even know mgs had a chinese cheer!
and it went like mei mei mei yi mei mei mei or something vaguely similar and i seriously couldn't stop laughing!
and at the end they did the usual GOOO MG! and the incongruence of that last phrase with the chinese cheer... okay i seriously don't know what to say.
but i was very very amused.

and to be perfectly honest, even though i feel so sad saying it, the mgs invention was the worst :(
their invention was a portable changing room, like.. ?!
honestly, i wouldn't buy/carry a portable changing room with me and fix it up in the middle of nowhere and start changing my clothes!

tomorrow my parents come home and i'm so happy i have no words.
life always seems a little incomplete without my parents around.
everyone's coming back.
my parents are coming back.
gab's coming back.
jo's coming back.
eric's coming back.
wenhao's coming back.
my sister (hopefully) is coming back.

there's always something to smile and cry about when people come back.

listening to Runaway Train reminds me so much of Sec3.
but now seems like as good a time as any (if not better) to listen to it.

it's a slow, lazy saturday where time seems to stand still while the world is still revolving.
where i can sit by myself in the stifling stillness and untangle my thoughts.
solitude and stillness are scary, but at least this saturday has produced a new pair of shoes to match my pretty new dress.
thank God for little pleasures.

jiayi: a squash racket is much slimmer and lighter than a tennis racket.
this is what a squash racket looks like.

and this is what a tennis racket looks like

as you can see, a squash racket is longer and slimmer while the tennis racket is rounder and the stem is shorter. if you have any problems, you can go to any sports shop and ask the staff for help.
the usual brands are Wilson, Prince or Head. and the lighter, better ranges are usually quite expensive ranging from $100+ to $200+.
a good weight for a squash racket would be 130g-140g, and i prefer Head rackets to Prince or Wilson.
i think you can find rackets between the prices of $40-$60. i don't know if there are cheaper ones. you can find them at the usual sports stores.
and yup track pants is fine, but i think you would be much more comfortable in shorts and a tshirt! anyway hope all that was of help :)

ram: hey thanks.

jin: hurhur you got that right, my friend ;) i do need a flip flap. teehee!!

So tired that I couldn't even sleep, so many secrets that I couldn't keep.
Promised myself I wouldn't weep, one more promise I couldn't keep.

Can you help me remember how to smile? Make it somehow all seem worthwhile.
How on earth did I get so jaded, life's mystery seems so faded.

Bought a ticket for a runaway train, like a madman laughing at the rain.
Little out of touch, little insane, just easier than dealing with the pain.

Runaway train never coming back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Runaway but it always seems the same..

two days ago someone said to me hey next week is the last week of your holidays right.
and i was about to type in the msn window no.. still have two weeks more!
but then, i stopped short, did a little quick mental calculation and it was like SHEEEEAT! NEXT WEEK IS THE LAST WEEK OF HOLIDAYS!

today is friday and almost three weeks are up.
the three weeks in retrospect, have been filled with good times, snippets of bad times and nothing substantial.
especially with regards to the area of academics.
whatever i'm feeling now is similar to that of a slug.

last night, i had one of the worst sleeps ever.
i tossed and turned in bed for many bad hours, before drifting into some sort of unconsciousness at around 6.
then at 0900 hours, my dearest mother called, and i could only answer her in monosyllables, my voice (and brain) thick with sleep.

in the extremities of my boredom, i realised my room is rather sleep-inducing and has a relative calming effect.
must be all that green.
i came to that realisation, while lying on my green bed, with my green mogu lodged under my head, with my feet propped up on a green chair, staring at my green wardrobe, shelves, desk and numerous green math and econs folders.
i feel a little like a vegetable.
but then, while lying in that position with my econs notes in hand, i felt alot at ease just looking at my tiny square of a room.
green is a good colour.

lately, i've been thinking what if, what if, what if, maybe, maybe, maybe and there are just about a gazillion maybes and whatifs to think about, and everything's rolled itself into an incomprehensible bundle.
and sometimes i'm just happy to sit down and think about these endless possibilities.
but then, every daydream needs a little practical fuelling.
so when i dig out words and memories to fuel my possible daydreams, i start to feel pinches of reality, and daydreaming doesn't seem so fun anymore.
ohwell,
REALITY BITES.

the year is passing much faster than i'd expected.
and things that were recent in real time, seems so faraway now.
maybe it belonged to a holiday dream.
because that's certainly how i see it, a surreal memory enclosed in a snow globe.

shake it up and see the pretty snowflakes fall.

there's a fine line between giving a shit and not giving a shit and i crossed it again.
how annoying.
pfft.

today i finished differentiation!
but then i fell into a long deep sleep after.
nowadays, i am always falling asleep.
even when i'm not tired.

today i read The Little Mermaid again.
it's always been one of my favourite fairytales, simply because it isn't a fairytale.
ha ha, the irony of it.

they all begin with Once Upon a Time and end with Happily Ever After.
but not The Little Mermaid.

the prince told her that he loves the maiden that saved him from the stormy seas.
and she was that maiden, but she couldn't tell him because the price of being with him was the loss of her beautiful voice.
and in the end, he marries another, thinking that she was the one that saved him.

to save the little mermaid, her fellow sisters gave up their hair to the sea witch.
however for the little mermaid to return to her original form, she had to kill the prince.
and she couldn't do it, because she loved him with all her heart.
so she threw away the knife and jumped into the sea, resigned to her fate of dissolving into sea foam.
but her kindness and lovingness saved her from death.
instead, the became part of the air, and after 300 years, she'd be able to enter the kingdom of heaven and gain immortality.

she gave up her home, her family, her tail, her voice, and endured the pain of having legs which made her feel as though she was constantly walking on knives.
but yet he made her happy.
happy enough to give all that up and endure the pain.

but yet they didn't end up together even though they loved each other.
because circumstances blinded them, and.. i don't know.
i seriously don't.

but then this story is very special to me in more ways than one.
and i think even when i'm old and greying with half my leg in the grave, it'll still be my favourite fairytale :)

"The little mermaid lifted her glorified eyes towards the sun, and felt them, for the first time, filling with tears. On the ship, in which she had left the prince, there were life and noise; she saw him and his beautiful bride searching for her; sorrowfully they gazed at the pearly foam, as if they knew she had thrown herself into the waves. Unseen she kissed the forehead of her bride, and fanned the prince, and then mounted with the other children of the air to a rosy cloud that floated through the aether. "

- The Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Andersen

"We can't drug you if that's what you're hoping for. I'm sorry if you have bad dreams. Should we leave the light on at night?"

"Don't make fun of me!" Ender said. "I'm afraid I'm going crazy."

The doctor was finished with the bandage. Mazer told him he could go. He went.

"Are you really afraid of that?" Mazer asked.

Ender thought about it and wasn't sure.

"In my dreams," Ender said, "I'm never sure whether I'm really me."

a short dream this time.
but a bad one.
i really like Ender's Game, even though it's science-fiction and i never read science fiction.

"I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves." - Ender Wiggin, Ender's Game.

no more shopping for me for the next 5 months.

today was a tad bit TOO productive.
efficiency overload!
laura and i came home with bundles of things.
:(
i bought two skirts, a dress, a pair of shorts and a belt.
and laura.. weeeell, laura bought a whole lot more ha ha.

yesterday was dinner with Sooz, Jame and Laura at Din Tai Fung then we popped by Clarke Quay.
and the night was spent at Laura's with a box of cookies, a bag of chips and Legally Blonde 2.

it hasn't been a bad two days.
time to get down to studying.
and i'm still feeling furiously pissed at myself and it's time for me to not give a shit anymore.
i am not going to give a shit.

even if it kills me.

was sooo bloody pissed at myself yesterday.
anyway math is getting progressively harder, i spent a super long time on ONE differentiation question and i got it wrong.

and lately, i've been dreaming too much.
i dream of the strangest, most incoherent things with familiar and unfamiliar people.
i keep wanting to sleep, but not wanting to dream.
so i never fall into a deep sleep, because once i feel a dream coming on, i'll force my eyes open.

and sometimes i wonder why is it i do the things i do.
like seriously, shumin, you can be so STUPID.
stooopid.

>:O

you know the phrase when you look good, you feel good
i've always thought it true, and until now i still think it true.
so whenever i'm unhappy, i always feel better after i go shopping.

then i think i must have been unhappy a whole lot because i keep shopping.
and i keep wanting to look good, look better.
so i can feel better.

but then, after i've bought my new stuff, there are always newer, nicer things to buy.
and it's never-ending is it?
and i ask myself, what am i trying to look good for?
and i spend all this money which i don't earn, it doesn't seem right.
because at the end of the day, i don't think i'm happy through this material gain.

nowadays, i wonder why is it i do the things i do.
and i keep questioning myself and evaluating myself.

it's so easy to just numb yourself to these thoughts and spend money, do everything, do nothing, do just.. whatever, you know.
but then my overactive brain just won't stop asking and questioning and loathing.
and it can't stop asking myself what kind of person i want to be.

and recently, it seems even more so that i can't typecast myself anywhere, whereas everyone can typecast me.
perhaps, it's a more secure feeling being typecasted, because at least you have a certain standard of behaviour you're most likely to follow, and is expected of you.

but then more than ever now, it seems as though i doubt myself, doubt my actions.
why did i act that way, why did i do this, why did i do that.
and the scariest part of this whole process of doubting and searching, is that i seem to have lost myself.
or maybe i never really did find myself.

but then again, what is me.
we grow and change, and thus the me changes.
we learn and we admire, and we try to emulate certain things and then again, the me changes.
but is that really a me?

and perhaps, i've been sitting too long, thinking too much.

i should channel all my pent-up energy elsewhere.

guess who's back? BACK AGAIN!

none other than my favseatbuddy soozie! :):):)

i missed you terribly..

so yesterday it was the more or less the complete set of homegirls!
and it made me so incredibly happy for some odd reason :)

we went to watch Mr and Mrs Smith and i told laura to buy tickets for five people.
and laura kept wondering who was the fifth!
so i told her, mystery person, it's a SURPRISE!
then laura and jame kept guessing different boys and i was thinking what makes you think it must be a boyy!!
and it was none other than soozie!
who is a better surprise than any other boy, cos she's our homieee! :)

so after Mr and Mrs Smith (which was quite good!) we all bought dinner and went over to soozie's house for a reunion.
spent the night eating sushi, krispy kremes, veg&crackers&dip, sandwiches and instant noodles, packing sue's INCREDIBLE SHOCKING shopping and talking with Mich, Jame, Laura, Sue and Rage.

oh yes and reading sue's gossip magazines, like the one on Brad/Jennifer/Angelina!
where a 'mini-fight' with jame and mich on TEAM JOLIE and sue and i on TEAM JENNIFER.
so rage and laura had to be tie-breakers, where they didn't wanna be, so they formed TEAM BRAD.
hurhur :)

and sue's one of the craziest, most shocking shoppers i've ever seen in my life.
i don't think i've seen anyone buy so many tshirts and shoes and bags and skirts and spent so much money at one go.
i don't even think i buy that many things in a YEAR!
but then our dearest soozie bought stuff back for all of us that suited us very nicely :)
so thanks sooozie!

okay, very excited i am sounding,
because very happy i am :)

anyway on Friday i stayed over at mich's house thinking i had tuition.
but then the tutor didn't come!
so we stayed up til 12 doing math.
then we watched a Hilary Duff movie, which although i condemned at the beginning, i really quite liked towards the end.
but then, watching it, i started to get pangs of loneliness and pinches of nostalgia.

i've been terribly nostalgic recently.
and also a little confused.
but then i keep reminding myself that His plan is good always and in God i trust.
and everytime things seem a little dim, i really thank God for my girlfriends :)

<3

i am feeling so eeeeerritated.
about something i can't even put my finger on.
i think i'm playing mind games with myself.

i tried to cheer myself up all day.

i wanted to snack so badly, but there are no snacks.
i did some math, but i got sick of doing it. because i couldn't do it.
i read a book. it was quite a nice book, but the protagonist's loneliness started to get to me. so i stopped.
i listened to a random cd i burned. big mistake.
i online window shopped, it didn't cheer me up. and the websites didn't update.
i watched Art Attack, didn't cheer me up either.
i'm not even emo.
its like an

ARGH!

feeling.

sometimes i wish i would just stop thinking altogether.
argharghargharghargharghargh!!!
:(
:(
:(

i just got home and i missed the first episode of Lost.
i am NOT pleased.

studying at cel's house was QUITE productive today :)
i finished one trig tutorial and did half a chapter of econs.
once i got down to studying, i realised i quite enjoyed doing it.
and then once i started talking (it was during our 'break'), i realised i couldn't stop :(

bible study after and it was quite good too.
didn't get many of my questions answered, but then in God i trust :)

yesterday, i spent the whole night watching tv again.
i think my tv addiction of the past has resurfaced.

i was watching Elvis by the Presleys and i think Elvis is one media icon that i'm truly intrigued by.
i read the book written by his former wife Priscilla Beaulieu and it's one of my favourite books ever.
i was really touched by the way Elvis had so many facets to him and how she was able to portray him as a man with so many faults but yet so many lovely points, and it was easy to see why she loved him so much.
and a couple of days ago, Priscilla Beaulieu and daughter Lisa Marie Presley were on Oprah and i couldn't take my eyes off the screen.

many times, we think we want a perfect person.
we speak about perfection and all the qualities we'd want in a partner.
but then yet, when we really love someone, our lists of perfection is thrown away and we come to love the person as they really are.
it's that complete person that we love.
the wonky complicated makeup of that person.
the way the say silly things, the way they yell, the way they cannot make up their minds on what to eat, the way their insecurities work, the way they make you smile, the way they make you laugh and even the way they can hurt you so much, that makes you love them so.

but then, so what?
sometimes love just isn't enough.
and that's something i've grown to learn.

since i was so supremely bored: NEW LAYOUT.
smurfs.
i want a smurf tee.
actually i wanted a supergirl layout since i realised that everyone only cares about superman.
what about supergirl?
but nevermind, SMURFS!

and..


My Boyfriend is Type B was soso good!
i left the cinema feeling very warm and fuzzy inside.
i am a korean movie freeeak.

i am getting increasingly poorer as the days go by.
yesterday i met marc and jame and we had dinner at Crystal Jade where we spent a whopping 18 bucks each.
and i saw a really really nice pair of plaid shorts which i think i'll get soon.

and thank goodness i made it to the last train of the night or i'd have to spend another heart-splintering 10 bucks for a cab home.
since i cabbed to town.

and i had the STRANGEST, and rather scary dream last night.
i dreamt i was in heaven and God said the earth was imbalanced and he wanted to throw down another tree to balance it.
and he threw down the tree that i was in!
so i began spiralling downwards (HEADFIRST!) through the clouds and through a wooden building which had holes in the ceilings and floors for me to whoosh through.
i remember bumping my head several times but it didn't hurt.
anyway i landed at karen's house.

so i spent the night at kren's house and we woke up to get ready for school.
before we left the house, i received a phonecall which made me want to cry.
so we left kren's house and somehow landed outside MY house.
and i was telling kren that it's amazing how we walked out of her house and ended up outside my house.

and we tried to flag a cab for school and kren wouldn't stop saying that she's super unlucky with cabs.
so we flagged down a cab which drove into my house and kren wanted to get into the other cab.
and i said oh but the other cab is in my house already
so we ran back to my house and the cab just drove past!

and then while waiting outside my gate, these five guys entered and began discussing how to break into my house.
so i got superduper pissed and barged into my house and began screaming at them to get out get out!
and they wanted to kidnap me!
so i began screaming and screaming and kren and i ran outside the gate and tried to hold it so they wouldn't push their way through.
and these other five guys from the next house jumped into my house and they all began fighting.
and after that they all began pushing the gate.
so it was ten guys against kren and i and i was SO SO SO scared..
then my grandma woke me up and in my semiconscious state i was thinking, why didn't i call the police..

freakydeaky.

ohwell, when things fade, why do we recolour them again?
that was precisely what i did last night.
i recoloured the faded.
just so i'd have something to keep in my memories.

and i lost my sequins.
i wanted to sew last night!

before i fell asleep last night i was thinking about the things we constantly think about but never say.
because it's been said over and over before, thus i've said my piece, gained my peace (no pun intended), but it doesn't mean that it's been obliterated.
it's still in there, just pointless to say it.
besides, there isn't anyone for me to say it too now, simply because it is
out of point.

hence, the emo-ness this morning.

Six Ways of Getting Rid of Emo-ness

1. packing your wardrobe - i seriously felt much better after folding my clothes. looking at all my sunny clothes cheered me up immensely :)

2. listening to some good ol' tunes! - and no jaychou is not one of them, unfortunately. i tried this morning, i mean it's jaaaaay, of course it'll cheer me up! but no, too much excess baggage.

3. eating with a good book in hand - this one NEVER EVER fails.

4. TEEVEE! :) - esp cartoons. i watched Mr. Bean, then Totally Spies, then Art Attack and some Oprah, Room Raiders and a hk drama serial.

5. erm, math. - honestly, once i figured out how to do some of the sums, it became a mindless thing to do. as in, i thought about nothing but math.

6. going out - certainly takes a whole load off your mind :) shopping included.

okay so that's what i did today.
i packed my sunny wardrobe, listened to some feel-good tunes, ate with a good book in hand, did some math, watched a whole bunch of tv programmes and now, i am going out to watch the korean movie My Boyfriend is Type B.
which is exactly my kind of movie :)

and when i was watching Oprah today, i felt so damn stoooopid because i started to tear when i saw the contestants getting their wildest dream come true.
they were smiling so hard and were so completely elated, really twitched my tear ducts.

and later on in the hk drama serial, there was this scene where these two childhood friends were lying on the bed side by side and one of them conjured up the dreams of their youth.
and it was the usual cliche it's-a-childhood-dream-but-still-alive-in-the-adult's-mind kind of moment, but my emo side kinda kicked in and i started to get all nostalgic and whimsical.

sometimes it seems as though i've let go of the dreams that i had when i was young or i'd simply forgotten them.
or maybe i haven't, it's just that growing pains have made them hard to materialise.
whatever it is, i think i watch too much tv and think too much.

okay, time for korean movie :)

some things i've discovered today.
1. I LOST MY TRIG NOTES! i am very unhappy.
2. my pockets are getting the slightest bit empty.
3. eavesdropping is hilarious. i wonder if we sound the same when people eavesdrop on us.
4. I NEED TO START STUDYING MORE.

today i took a supremely long busride to school to return zhenyang his shirt.
and the sun was scorching.
i'm never taking my parents and rides for granted again.

studied at starbucks with jame and laura and covered a math tutorial :)
some, erm, shopping again.
which is probably why i am so broke.

and now eloquence is bereft of me and all i want to say is
idon'tcareidon'tcareidon'tcareidon'tcareISERIOUSLYWON'TCARE.
i feel all better already :)
i simply won't care anymore.

been bitten by the boredom bug yet again.
so yes, online window shopping yet again.
since the great singapore sale leaves much to be desired.

green! my favourite colour :)

but i think my sister has this in yellow?

STRAW HATS! i've a thing for straw hats even though i look like shit in them.


i also love shorts. i really really like shorts.

and i also really really like green.

i also really really like capris. especially white capris.


and i secretly like platform flipflops. heh heh.

just not too high pls.

WOOHOO! I LOVE SINGAPORE! :) :)

can you imagine US$28 for a tee that has two dragons and the word singapore on it.
i can find one for S$15 with a dragon and the word singapore on it too!

and recently, i've found that shopping for male clothing is quite fun.
especially after shopping with owen and marc, i've decided choosing clothes for boys is really very very fulfilling :)

i can't get enough of green and polos.


thought this was quite nice.

nice shorts are really hard to see online because they're all the same old and unless they're plaid or really special they all look the same to me.
hence, erm pinstripes!

i can't get enough of yellow polos too.


I LOVE PLAID FISHERMAN SHIRTS!!


this i am liking very very mucho!


ok, today's session of window shopping isn't as fulfilling as the last one because the websites never update.
real shopping is still the best
:)

urgh.
i should seriously quit this mindless time-wasting.
studystudystudy!

shopping with the elders of the household is like being in a mad hopping race.
walk walk walk dodge other shoppers walk walk walk pause to see where each other is walk walk walk step into shop step out walk walk walk.
waaay too fast for my sloth-like footsteps and slow shopping ways.

so anyway, on saturday..
THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY was so so good!
i want to read the book now.

mini picnic feast with laura mich and jame on a bench outside Zara.
sandwiches, pasta salad, chicken steak, sushi and iced tea; i felt very very satisfied after.

Rockage with jae sammio and va, where we expected aircon and chairs.
but no, we had natural breeze(?) and grass.
which was fine by me because i have absolutely no qualms about sitting down on the grass.
and the view by the waterfront was really pretty and during the concert i kept having these huge urges to go cycling.
so Rockage was actually pretty good until this long haired heavy metal band came on and blasted err.. well music.
i. thought. my. head. was. going. to. explode.
and they played song
after song
after song
after song..
so, we left :)

mahjong at va's after!
but, ladyluck wasn't smiling down on me :(
i was the SOLE, SINGLE, ONLY loser of the night.
i lost 13 symbolic dollars..
and i thought i was the mahjong queen..
i blame it on the stupid fan.
it blew all my luck away.

and on the way to town yesterday, i had the strangest most intimidating cab driver of my life.
he drove speeedily with his back all hunched (not weakly, but aggressively) and wouldn't stop bellowing.
like SO WHERE DO YOU WANNA GO? WHICH WAY DO YOU WANT TO GO BY?
hmm. and also..
cabbie: school holidays now eh?
me: errm yes.
cabbie: not going overseas for holiday?
me: oh no, i have to study.
cabbie: ahh! STUDY! what year are you in?
me: JC2.
cabbie: YOU? JC2?
me: erm yes.
cabbie: YOUU?! JC2??!
me: erm yes!
cabbie: YOU LOOK MORE LIKE SECONDARY SCHOOL TO ME!
me: erm okay. thanks uncle.

and after that..

cabbie: so, how old do you think i am? i bet you'll never guess.
me: err.. 56?
cabbie: HAAHAHAHHAAHHAHAH!
me: oh erm.. i'm wrong?
cabbie: hahahah! some people have guessed 60! 60 over!
me: oh so how old are you uncle?
cabbie: hahahha! I AM 45!!
me: oh err.. sorry uncle.

lately i've been meeting the strangest cab drivers.
like the one the other day who was talking to me about boys and marriage and the things women do and how i am very traditional.
like HOKAAY.
not that i mind him talking to me but i didn't like the way he was constantly assessing and judging me, i mean i'm only a passenger!
and after that when jamie tried to interject her own opinion he suddenly shouted, "I'M TALKING TO HER! WAIT FOR YOUR TURN!"
i was very. very. shocked.

and its now sunday.
this marks the end of 1 week of the june holidays.
i think now is the time to zap out unnecessary thoughts and concentrate on the necessary.
the unnecessary has been infiltrating my mind more often than necessary.
but then again, what is necessary?

i hope my parents come home soon.
i think i have too much time on my hands because i spend too much time by myself.

i am currently in the midst of two polarities and it's extremely irritating because i don't see how i can be experiencing both a good time and a bad time at the same time.
that was way too many 'time's in a sentence.

so thursday was ZOOLYMPIX!
zoolympix training to be exact.
i've decided that the zoo can only be an amiable place if
1. you're dressed in shorts
2. you're sitting on a tram to get from one extreme end to the other

other than that, i really like the zoo alot :)
but we spent most of our time in the auditorium listening to talks and waiting around.
the only animals i got to see were Inuka the polarbear, the new giraffes (that aren't very tall, i felt abit cheated), lions, pygmy hippos, rhinos, orangutans, parrots, some animal i don't know how to name, white tigers and.. i got to touch a milk snake!
and i must mention that they made us come at 8.45am, but we only started the real deal at 3pm!
i seriously felt dead cheated.

but now i know how to fold a sealion, a penguin, a carp and a trout :)
and i also think that my face painting skills are quite good!
so overall, thanks to ben&jerry's, girlfriends, cows, face-painting and mercedes cabs, i had a good time :)


hahaha, my slow pathetic progress as an aspiring cowgirl :)



and to LAURACHIAWENYI: since you don't have a tagboard, i hope you read this! i am very very hurt :( you wrote in your blog.. i'll copy and paste. jame sue and jan were there on the first day so it was pretty fun . i am SUE?!?! laura! and yes laura, you are right.
all i need in this life of sin is me and my girlfriends!
love you laura, even though you called me sue :)

and met up with mich jame, owen and marc yesterday for dinner at our favourite people-watching dinner place nydc, heeren.
same table, same spot as the last time, it was good :)

didn't get tickets for madagascar (i was secretly glad. because $9.50 for a 1hour+ show, DAYLIGHT ROBBERY).
and since owen marc and i were all topshop card holders, we went to the topshop relaunch sale!
whereby.. i didn't buy anything much because the queues, pounding music and revolving spotlights were just too much for my eyes/ears/senses.
but i had a much nicer time down at topman trying on hats and watching marc and owen try on things.
except, they have to be two of the most indecisive shoppers i've ever met, much much worse than me.

owen spent forever deciding whether to buy a shirt or not, which eventually he did.
and even after indecisive owen made his decision, marc still couldn't decide whether to buy the striped hat or the straw hat!
which i think is quite my fault really because he seemed to have decided on the striped hat, but then the straw hat was really so damn special, i kinda picked it up again and err, well you know.
but in the end, IT WAS THE STRAW HAT HE BOUGHT!
so i am extremely glad :) :) :)

wiled the rest of the night away at macs with a box of chicken nuggets.

our creative artwork with the box of chicken nuggets!


at times i seem to be able to minimise alot of the things i'm feeling but sometimes they enlarge themselves again.
this growing and shrinking of emotions is making me feel like a balloon pump.
i wish it would remain shrunk.
then nothing would seem important.

someone told me that in harry potter, there's a well where you can dump all your memories in and you won't remember them anymore unless you want to take them out.
wouldn't it be nice :)

today i woke up feeling really really angry at myself!
and the skies thundered and the rain fell and mich and the tutor were late.
very conducive environment for self-angst to fester.

and when tuition got going i started to feel progressively better except after tuition my somewhat angry feelings began to change into slightly melancholy and doubtful ones that made my self-esteem crumble.

but THANKFULLY, nigel sportsboy and mich asked me out to lunch.
and i was so damn shocked when nigel called mich and mich was shouting huh you're here already?! and i ran to my room window and saw them in a car outside my gate!

quite a pleasant lunch at SICC plus rotiboy!
and then we went bowling.
which was oodles of fun, but i'm not very good at it at all :(
nigel and i didn't knock a single pin down for the first three frames!!!

look at that score! i'm the second one and i didn't lose to nigel heh.
but then, okay, in the second game i did :/
but despite the terrible way i bowled, i really don't think i'm all that bad!
hurhur, self-denial in action :)

our top scorer for the day: SPORTSBOY


nigel in action. he got quite good the second time after i taught him how to angle. and then he beat me!!


mich, the quite good bowler who paid for the bowling session. thankkyouu!


me in action! teehee


and i got my hands on the driving wheel for the very first time!
i was panicking like mad and i must admit i am not a very good driver :(
and i used to think i was pretty steady with a golf buggy..

so overall, it was a good day :)
except i still haven't gotten down to any serious studying yet.
which i really MUST do..