Today as I was walking home from Chye's and watching the fading blue sky blend into hues of pink and orange, I thought about my future poured out in fond fragments in my mind's eye.
I thought about the endless invisible possibilities built only from the wheel of my imagination and as it churned out scenario after scenario, it made me oddly happy.
Trapped in my own mind under pink clouds and the orange-blue sky, it was something I remembered about today.
( 26 July 2006)

This is something I'd penned in my diary, something I've been feeling a lot lately; a strange suspended kind of happiness that brings a funny little smile to my face.
-

I am aching like an achey old woman because I actually got those inactive limbs of mine to work by walking heaps yesterday in the sloshy puddles and drizzle to Toowong from my place and even going for an evening jog (!!!)

And today was another long day at the coast which left me feeling estranged for some weird reason; maybe cause I was severely lacking sleep and was half-wishing that I'd spent the better part of the morning sleeping before heading out.
But then two thumbs up for Pacific Fair because shopping always, always cheers me up for another weird reason.

Anyway, I'm really tired and suck at explaining so, some old(er) pictures!

Love from my send-away wagon, Y!














(I miss all of you dearly, even those not in the picture!)

and now,

It's time for Shumin to head to bed; goodnight blog-readers, sleep tight and sweet dreaming :)

















If I lay here, if I just lay here
Would you lie with me

And just forget the world

I am currently secretly tapping into someone's wireless because I am internet-less!!
Actually being internet-less isn't all that bad, in fact, I quite like it; it's strangely liberating.
Except for that odd period of time at night where I feel as though I have nothing to do and I resort to playing endless games of solitaire (I will say unabashedly that I am quite good at this now!) and even filling up my word search book.

But yes, back to the liberation.
When I'm not online I don't feel affected by anything or anyone and in its own weird way, I feel encased in my own protective bubble where I live my life and interact with only who I meet physically and other than that, I'm secure.

Anyway, I should feel bad for usurping whoever's wireless I'm tapping into, but the thing is, MY LEARNING GUIDE NEEDS TO BE PRINTED!
Because the lousy copy shop at uni has decided not to print out THREE of my subject's learning guides which means I have to wait by my printer, churn out paper after paper, then send it to the copy shop to be bound.
All of which is only possible, if I have internet.

Anyway, my little bit of exciting news ahead!

When I arrived at the Brisbane airport, I was happily watching the cute little beagles (I realised beagles are really cute with their flappy ears and everything, they look like intelligent, fresh, little boys) and couldn't wait to get my arse to the new apartment.
So, I made my way to the conveyor belt, somewhat excited at the expectation of a new semester.

Anyway, I waited for a fair bit before I saw my duffel bag and my squash bag making its way down the belt.
Then I proceeded to wait for the real stuff, the good stuff, the IMPORTANT stuff (ie. my huge enormous suitcase)
And I waited.
And waited.
And waited.

Until every single damned bag on the conveyor belt was gone and all I saw was the black rubbery lane making its way round and round in its mechanical gurgly way.

And that's when I started to panic.

Before leaving the airport, I still remember distinctly, my mom showing me the baggage receipts and instructing me on what to do should anything happen to my baggages. And I remember scorning it dismissively in my head.

RETRIBUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because, where is my suitcase?

I was praying fervently that by some divine miracle, someone would tap be on the shoulder and say, Excuse me Miss, is this yours? and I'll breathe enormous sighs of relief and gush Thank you Thank you Thank you!

But anyway, it didn't happen this way.
I made my way to one of the suited airport men (I never know what to call them) and told him that my suitcase hasn't arrived and he referred me to the SIA baggage information counter.
And while standing there, I thought about what I would do if my suitcase really went missing.
What would I do without all my favourite clothes?
What would I do without my whole pencil case?
What would I do without my favourite shoes?

So I was praying fervently AGAIN that no matter what, don't let my suitcase be gone in airport oblivion or stolen by some ratass, but let it be.. somewhere, anywhere, as long as it gets back to me in one complete piece with everything inside intact.

Anyway, once the man saw my passport he went Oh you! We had a letter to tell us that your luggage didn't make it on the plane to Brisbane so its still in Singapore. But we'll send it on the next flight to Perth (PERTH?! WHY PERTH!) and fly it on a domestic flight to Brisbane. Then we'll send it over to you free of charge.

I was so, so, so relieved that at least I knew where my suitcase was.
And after that, the first thing that came to my mind was what I was going to do because I didn't have any underwear.
And it hovered on my head for many hours before Reuben very kindly drove me to Indro where I picked up some undies and quilt covers and hooray!

Okay, end of little exciting story.

-

So uni has started and it hasn't been bad despite the early 8am class and super duper uber boring computer lectures.
So far it's been unpacking (still in the process of), cooking (a little bit), the usual long talks with Angie during our breaks, dinner with Ruth, Wanping and Bing over Indian food and shrieking with laughter over secret bathroom windows, dinner with David and Joey and long discussions about wisdom teeth (yeeowch!) and irritating boys.

It's still early days but I still hope it'll be good this semester.
I'm feeling surprisingly happier these past two weeks.
Maybe it's all because of renewed perspectives but no matter what, I think I've reclaimed some part of who I used to be and it's quite a nice feeling :)

-

Anyway thanks to Sue, Laura, Rage, Jame, Owen, Tat, Marc and Daniel for seeing me off at the airport!
And thanks Mich for coming over :)

I figured once I get back to Brissy, I'll be suffering from lack of internet for a couple of days so I'd better blog about my last few days in sunny isle Singapore while I can.
And it hasn't been a bad last week for me, getting to see everyone while I still can.

Early on in the week it was coffee with Rage and Soozie (and not forgetting the smallest, most rip-off escargots and asparagus I've ever seen) before meeting Laura and Yuhao for more coffee.
I reckon coffees are very good for meetups because all you do is order a cup of coffee, sit down for hours and talk.
Then after, it was dinner with Eric, Marc, Tat and Adam where the Big O Famous Stew (or as Big O would like to call it) wasn't very good at all!
Bumped into Sue and Huiying after and we made our way down to Newton with Laura for some good old apple juice, ice kachang, satay and chengteng.
A good day of (relatively) good food, unglam faces, and awesome, awesome company.





This was followed by a day of expensive cabrides, where I met Cass and Michelle at Barker before we headed off to Amoy for my beloved teochew fish porridge!
Plans of eating what I think is one of the most fab orhnee I've ever eaten was foiled because it was sold out :(
We had tangyuan instead.
So that was another awesome afternoon traipsing around in the CBD area, eating fabbity fab local food and spending it with great company.

Then, it was another expensive cabride to Ngee Ann Poly to see Tat who very nicely bought me bubble tea before we headed to Holland V for katong laksa (!!) and nasi lemak with Tat's friend Roderick and Marc.

Met Huiying and Joses (har har, the siblings!) for a second dinner in the night at Essential Brew, fighting over Team Fs and Team Ts.
The night ended with Joses' very very sweet mom who gave me a ride home.

Cass, Michelle and me at Amoy!



















Then the week ended with lunch with Laura and Rage before I headed home to start packing.
The week also ended with a pretty fab night filled with blue cheese, crackers, beer, green tea and peach tea, much too spicy escargots, chips, kerepok and ice cream, Swordfish, 99, a late night walk and injuries (thanks Owen for providing the bluecheese and crackers and beer and escargots!)
:)

Cel, Laura and I at my house














The "MediCamp" 99ers!

(these photos were taken during the round where I lost terribly, hence the unhappy face)

And it was really funny because while we were playing cards, Laura called.

Laura: Hello? Shumin? Omg, guess what happened.
Me: Omg, road block???!
Laura: Noo! We made a wrong turn and ended up at Woodlands checkpoint!
Me: Huhh?
Laura: We were going towards Malaysia!
Me: HAHAHAHA!

Okay, for the real version, click HERE!

Ha ha!

the 6.30 Zombies out for a walk















And this was what happened after we walked Cel out to get a cab.

Marc saw a new piece of equipment at the park and decided to give it a go!



















He found it really fun so he got Tat to join him on the rocky ride.















But Tat's too big and strong and rocked too violently, causing Marc to fly off the ride!















In the process, Marc hurt his legs















And was in alot, alot of pain (I'm serious. He lay down for.. ages)















Tat felt really, really bad.



















And in the end, no one wanted to ride the rocking thingey anymore.



















So it was a night with no moon, no stars and no breeze and I tried to fan some air around by sitting on the little swing as I sat and pondered and thought as I always do.
But it's been a holiday filled with good food and even better company, and who can ask for a more satisfying combination.
Here's to a good second semester; I really hope it will be good.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY DEAREST !!

Thank you for being the best mom alive for all the, caring, delish cooking, juice-making, sound advice and that special way you have for making everything seem all right whenever I think otherwise.
Thanks for being the one closest to me and never judging me and allowing me to tell you everything.
I love you :)

and also, Happy Birthday to Michelle's mommmmmmy!

-

I must have been exhausted from the last few days because I slept for 12 hours straight last night, had a heavy lunch and fell right back asleep for another long afternoon nap.
Talk about being a pig, but I like sleeping very much :)

On Friday, was gonna meet Cass for lunch and when I reached Orchard, I realised I'd forgotten to bring my mobile phone!!
So I made a (relatively) looong trip back home to retrieve my phone before heading back out where Cass and I spent oodles of money.
She's a bad influence, I tell you.
But, it was a good catch up as usual because Cass is the kind of person I can tell almost anything to even if I haven't seen her in ages.

Cass and I, sec3/4 lit buddies :)



















Then, just before I left, I realised I left my sunnies at Wisma so I had to trek (in the blistering heat!!) all the way back, retrive my sunnies and walk all the way to the bustop!
Headed to Marc's house where I watched him WoW and read Archie comics over oreo cereal before falling asleep.
Marc treated me to duck rice (thanks Marc!) and we went for a nice long post-dinner walk with another nice heart-to-heart while waiting for Prince(ss) Tat to arrive.

And speaking about Tat, I must blog about how Tat made me, THEN Marc give him a massage while he rolled around the bed.
But it's okay, I still love you Prince(ss) Tat.

Tat, the pseudo intellectual



















with Prince(ss) Tat and Marc the WoWer.


the TOT!















After giving Tat his precious massage and poring through old yearbooks, it was off to Gab's house for drinks, bakchormee, prata and emo guitar songs.

TOT & CO















with Owen


with my dearest Cel the Belle: GO TEAM!


And Cel's macbookpro is the coolest shit ever with the huge range of photo effects and the in-built camera!
Anyway, sorry Gab if we were anti-social :(
And I hope you're having a good time back in Melby!

Spent the whole of Saturday sleeping because I tripped back home at 6.30 with the 6.30 Zombies (ie Tat Marc Cel and I) and was awoken periodically by mad barkings, music and loud voices.

My Mom's birthday dinner celebration later in the night for good food, good company and great guitarists.


Then Owen picked me up and we met Tat at Glutton Bay for supper before walking along the river side waiting for Celene and eating old school ice cream.

with Owen and Tat


Owen, fast asleep ha ha















Anyway, after arriving home and four hours later, I had to get up, pick Cel and Tat in a cab before heading to BRMC where I helped Cel in the Kindergarten section.
The kids were so supremely cute (except for a bratty two) and my favourite has to be this little boy called Daryl who has the whole small-eyed cheeky smile look who wrestled and wouldn't stop tickling me (it's okay, I tickled him back).

With Esther, Laura and Cel


Watched Cel get baptised during 10.30 service (congrats Celene the Bean!), had lunch with the girls, headed home, went to g-ma's and ko-ed.

Oh, and this was what happened when Tat called me in the car on Sunday night.

Me: Oh, so how was your day out with your boyfriends? (Aaron and Alex)
Tat: Oh, it was good
.
.
.
(when I hung up)
.
.
.
Mom: Soo.. Tat likes boys is it? He doesn't like girls?
Me: YEAH!!

ha ha, just kidding, Tat is every bit a heterosexual :)

I'm feeling terribly draaaaaained even though it hasn't been a bad week.

So on Tuesday, it was lunch and shopping and coffee with Eric (yes, you get a mention!) where I didn't manage to procure anything except a couple of good old hours with good old Eric.

Then it was a long trying walk as I called Daniel several times in an attempt to find the salon in which he was cutting his hair and the original stoners ended up at the same seat in Lido that we sat at the last, long ago time that we met.
Dinner over a seafood platter with random stoned convos that are the usual with Daniel (ha ha!) and the hushhush loner Army does strange things to people convo that wasn't so hushhush afterall.

Met my TOT Marc and Tat and watched them have dinner whilst we carried along with our usual TOT conversations about strong minds and best first memories.
And Marc and I took a trip down memory lane as we bought one of those gummy bubble blowers and blew our way down to Hard Rock Cafe to watch Gab sing.

Supper with Celene and her family after at the rude prata shop which couldn't wait to chase us out.

My superhero TOT: Marc the BubbleBoy (you will get a new cooler name once I think of one) and Tat the Unstoppable! (I have no superhero photo unfortunately...)



















-

Today was a date with my Cel the Belle!
And I must mention how I walked all the way to Celene's estate from my house in the sweltering humidity while I sang songs very softly under my breath to bide the time, because it was a very long and uncomfortable walk :(

Anyway, it was lunch at Secret Recipe which was also the very first place I saw Celene and she didn't like me because she thought I was mean :(
Hence, the photo of us because yes, :)















Anyway it was a good lunch with my favourite Cel the Belle because of our eternal conversation about anything and everything!
Then it was on for some retail therapy, although I don't feel very therapised because my mother is currently very pissed about my depleting bank account.
Where my money goes, I honestly don't know!

So after a long day of shopping, Cel and I headed to lido (without the trio this time because third part Laura was LATE), took photos and plugged into her Ipod listing our favourite emo songs.

the must-have toilet shot hurhur



















HA HA, shit I love these photos even though we look like ass


At the Superman table: S for Super Shumin and ER for Cel the Doc-to-be!


It's all in the L.O.V.E :)



Celene, this is for you even though I can't stand Kelly Clarkson.
Ha ha, for the love of you and me, heart to hearts, the ever eternal hope and emo songs :)

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

I stayed up til an unearthly hour to watch the World Cup finals and in my somewhat exhausted delirium, I thought about a whole heap of random things other than the regulatory Good job, Italy.

As Italy ran about in a frenzied delirum of blue while France sat in spotted silence, I thought about which kind of food I preferred: French or Italian.
Then images of succulent medium rare steaks with sauteed potatoes and plates of steaming pasta started to seep into my consciousness, activating those darned digestive juices of mine.

And as I watched Italy in all the ecstatic glory and France in their silent despondancy, all I could think of was that in every game, there's a winner and a loser.
If someone laughs, someone has to cry.
There's no win-win situation, there's no way to make everyone happy.
And that's what made me pensive and just that little bit sad.

But, back to the bloody steak.
I feel like eating one now.
Medium rare with mushroom sauce, a mash on the side with vegetables sauteed to what I would like to be called perfection.
Hungryyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Little stoney days like today make me think too much, especially when I'd breathed in too much stale air and nail polish (I painted my toes for the first time today! Too bored, too bored), lost at solitaire showdown, stared into space, and had a restless random inpromptu weird noise-making and humming competition over the phone.

And all I can think about now is that stupid steak :(
I want...

I want...

So I didn't get to go for my little late-night walk last night because it was past midnight when I got home and I didn't wanna go traipsing around the estate by myself in the humid, still night air (there was no breeze last night).

But it was still all good because it was dinner with Jame at NYDC and loud, uncensored convos about dodgy oily middle-aged men, stuttering boys, the little dramas and sighs of our lives, the war of attrition and not forgetting the ominous J-word.
Also, there were all the little quirks that seem to happen when I'm around Jame, like the sudden scattering of these little round things, making me think what the hell had fallen from the trees until I saw Jamie holding on to her broken necklace looking a little lost and perturbed.

Then it was on to the rollin' good times with Jame, Sue, Laura and Mich up at lido with our never-ending conversation before hanging out for a bit outside Devil's Bar which was insufferably hooooooot.

So today was spent rolling around in bed which left me feeling very, very restless.
I've reached a point where when I'm out, I'm feeling so terribly tired, but yet when I'm alone, I feel so restless.

Discontentment, dissatisfaction and the like are very hard feelings to contend with I reckon because it leaves you half hanging in mid-air and keeps you wondering, wondering and wondering.
Maybe that's the bit that sucks the most: wondering, the waiting game.
Ohwell, to hell with it all, good riddance, but hello, goodbye.


Nananana, nananana, hey hey,

Goodbye.

I was awakened by the nagging buzz of my neighbour's lawn mower ringing incessantly in my ears.
I was still very much in my exhaustion-induced stupor and unable to open my eyes, while wishing fervently in my head for that noise to stop.
All that whirring churned up the flutters in my chest, causing my heart to stir in its sleepy subconsciousness, leaving me disoriented and feeling oddly suspended in time.

In other words, I woke up feeling really, really lousy.

But then, after my short two hour nap later, I was awakened by the soothing tunes of David Gates which has to be one of my favourite singers of all time.

After the hustle and bustle of the past week (thanks for the 'surprise', although I didn't get all the Happy Birthday nonsense because it's definitely not my birthday, I appreciate the sweet gesture), all I want to do today is to laze around, play my guitar and listen to wistful mellow music.
Then tonight I want to take a walk and hopefully they'll be a slight breeze and the skies will be half cloudy, leaving the stars part in mist and part in view and I can walk to the park, sit on the swings and lull my flurried heart into a steady beat.
That's honestly all I want to do today.

-

Pictures of the past week in no particular order.

Owen, Gab and I (I only had a couple of sips of a drink and I'm that flushed shit, I'm lousy)














the sad army boy Jin and I














MISTER TEAM F :)



















Laura, Slow and I (and Cel in the front seat) for dvd days, rollerblades and bicycles














jaaaaaaaaaaaaae.














Laura and I



















my very first photo with Mindy!















-


When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries

And everybody hurts sometimes