I need to stop playing monopoly!! and talking about life.

Hardeehar, I really should sleep now to gear up for a BIG day of study tomorrow because I dwindled the hours away tonight. Time flies when you're having fun. How true.
But the bad thing is, I have to fold my clothes because if I don't, I can't sleep on my bed tonight.
Go figure - SHUMIN STYLE!

Oh noooo, I want hazelnut chocolate. Okay bye.

We sat around the tennis courts after lunch today watching Lisa's friend's little brother play tennis and I felt that pinch of longing of playing competitive sport again; even though I hated squash so much towards the end.
I think it was the whole atmosphere. Scorching sun, boys and girls in colour coordinated team outfits and strewn rackets, a few parents and coaches milling around while the atmosphere is just thick with friendly competition and trepidation.
You know what? I miss that.

I think there's something about participating in competitive sport that, in the cheesiest sense possible, makes everything melt away and only one thing matter.
Or maybe it's the clear cut set of rules and regulations which make everything pristinely black and white, and the one and only chance where I'm allowed to let the inner beast in me roar haha.
Team camaraderie, a single-minded goal, endorphins, winning, losing, whatever it is, I kinda miss it.

I haven't touched my racket in so long that I think I'm embarrassed to even play in public because I am very much certain that my drives are far from straight, my drops far from light and my stamina... well let's just say I get breathless from walking up a flight of stairs.
But I don't mind turning back time a couple of years: back to the time where we'd wear our colour coordinated team outfits and matching bags, wait in jittery anticipation for the line up sheets to come out (I loved and hated this part the most), cheer each other on and more importantly, play hard and know that we were all in it together.
They were good times :)

I need to study. I need to study. I neeeeed to start studying.
I'm so unworriedly worried that there's even that little flutter batting itself within my chest! ...While my mind continues to whip up a whole range of useless things to do.
Like I'm really hungry but today is day one of not eating after dinner; and my mind keeps conjuring up these images of steaming chicken stew with mushrooms and zucchines floating in it, poured liberally over a mound of rice.

I think my english is getting worse. I can't speak properly nowadays, constantly tripping over my words or scrabbling to find the right words to express myself.
Worse still, I've taken to rambling. On and on and on and.... ....
Whatever happened to QUALITY?!

So instead of wedging my behind firmly in my chair at the study desk, I've been wedging it on the chair at Chris' house.
Last night we played MONOPOLY: DISNEY EDITION!!


I ended up being Sleeping Beauty and losing ALL MY MONEY, ALL MY PROPERTY to Christopher Huang the Dumbo because I landed on one of his expensive castles twice.
I wanted to be Dumbo, because you know what they say about people (or animals) with big ears! Or at least that's what someone told me.
And then we sat around and... life happened.

I've really taken to drinking tea nowadays. And biscuits!
I like tea usually, but now I really like tea! I drink almost one cup everyday.

And ugh, useless entry.
ramble ramble.

David once said that I get too emotionally involved when I watch movies and I'm starting to think he might be right.
Because last night Sean was watching episode 17 (which I haven't seen!) of Heroes on tvlinks and I ended up watching it along with him, and before I fell asleep I stayed up in bed reading Angela's Ashes and I spent a good part of last night browsing through online websites of clothes and bags that I cannot afford.
So the point is, I woke up this morning at a loss to what to do, because a part of my brain is screaming to lose itself in the excitement of the Bennet household and all the other high-flying Heroes' characters, and the other part is quietly but surely sucked into the subtle plaintive quality of Frankie McCourt's life which I find strangely alluring, and the third is just... pure unattainable lustful frivolity.

I honestly feel torn as to what to do. This is why I'm blogging.
It gives me time to decide what I really want to do.

Realised I haven't exactly been the most joyful person in the last two weeks, I didn't gripe a lot, but I sure wasn't joyful.
On my way to class today, I felt reminded to be joyful and thankful even during adversity because everything on this earth is created by Him, every single thing or situation in this world which is running by is held in His hand, and we ought to rejoice in it!
Lifted my mood by a fair bit as I walked along the sun-dappled pavement, letting the toasty rays warm my chilled skin.

So I'm feeling rather chipper because class this morning floated by with surprising ease (normally I'm struggling to keep my eyes open), and I cooked a very comforting lunch of porridge served with stir-fried zucchines and chicken.
I washed the teetering pile of dishes in the sink, cleaned the counter tops and vacuumed the floor!
And now I can hear the happy familiar chug of the washing machine churning my load of dirty laundry!
This sunny, busy atmosphere makes me feel almost... useful :)

Harhar, now I hope I'll be able to finish my CML quiz by tonight and hopefully get some study done.
Help me Lord to not waste the precious time You have given me like I always do!

Pms pangs are coming, I can feel it.
I sat in my broken chair last night, feeling woefully overwhelmed and then these senseless tears welled up in my eyes for a brief moment, before I felt so utterly stupid and wiped them away.

Maybe it's partly pms and every other thing thrown in as well.
I feel like I'm trudging through a semi-bad dream; those kinda days where you want to throw everything to the wind, crawl into your shell and sleep, and hopefully everything will be miraculously in place when you wake up.

And I have put on weight. I can barely fit into my jeans. That always makes a day gloomier.

I am very annoyed.

I am trying to sleep but my new neighbour is blasting music so loudly it seems as though it's coming from my laptop. And to make things worse, he is belting out the song (Amazed by Lonestar) in an extremely off-key pseudo passionate voice. I'm not being mean. Because ever since they moved in, I've been graced with pounding music in the morning (9 am), loud gabbing voices and boisterous laughter at night, and the occasional warble in the afternoon.

I think I'm still surprisingly chipper considering this week's been plain awful.
I meant to blog days ago but somehow this week's been thrown into the throes of tribulation, that I can't seem to muster any extra energy to gripe, but merely hang on to whatever shreds of optimism I have left with bleak tenacity.

So in a nutshell:
1. I received some disturbing news (sorry, private)
2. I have disappointed my parents, greatly! I am ashamed.
3. I now have a spare room which I need to fill asap!
4. I am doomed to an extremely dismal GPA because I can't apply for special consideration for my accounting which means a failing grade.
5. I am broke. And in debt.
6. Perdisco STILL hasn't refunded me yet.
7. I locked myself out of my house for three hours.
8. My laptop's wheezing along like an old lady. It's that slow, too.
9. I have encountered the Mega Stupid Ninny.

It's times like these that God's teaching me all over again to learn how to surrender everything and put my trust in Him! That even when things seem dim, there's always that joy because the JOY OF OUR LORD IS OUR STRENGTH :)

I was super bored yesterday and look what I came up with!
HAHA. Chris, Ruth, Reuben, Sean, Dylan, Tsam, this is for you :) How apt huh.














Because, we love life :)

It is 3am in the morning and there are a bunch of extremely annoying birds squawking outside my window! Don't they need to sleep?!?!
It makes me feel like instead of time settling into the depths of the night, it has gone topsy turvy and decided on the early arrival of twilight.

We headed out on Friday night and had korean food at the newly renovated Gaya.
It looks terrific now with white lights, matte dark wood and gleaming polished floors; a far cry from the dingy little place it once was.
Unfortunately, it seems as though a more than proportionate hike has accompanied its prices as well because May, Angie and I shared a hotpot for $26.50, thinking it would feed us sufficiently, but we spent most part of the dinner straggling for whatever little prawns and squid they had :(

There's something about the cosmetics section in department stores that makes your skin look absolutely glowing and flawless.
Because even with my extremely crappy, grainy, 2.0 megapixel phone camera with no flash, my pictures look almost radiant with health!

Those are stupid GY's FINGERRRS!














Yay, all good now :)














This is where my crappy phone camera (and phototaking skills) come into play. Blurry and not in focus ha ha; typical me.





















And I really ought to curb my spending habits.
Sales and food have an extremely evil pitch; they brainwash you into thinking that it is cheap(er), rendering it totally okay to buy that top and that cute cardigan and those lovely shorts, or whatever it is hanging off the rack and before you know it, you've got bagfuls of adorable little buys that you simply don't need.
Food, simply because it is.
Can't help shovelling food into my mouth every other hour and now I'm paying the consequences because my already tight and fitting jeans have now cinched my hips in a manner that makes it almost impossible to breathe.

I say this because I spent Friday night trawling through the shops.
I spent Saturday afternoon trawling through the shops.
I spent Sunday afternoon trawling through the shops!!!!!!

Anyway, other than some niggling minute annoyances, life here is straggling along in a mildly exhaustive chipper mode.
And that can only be a good thing, I think?
God has been good :)

I've some more pictures from David's surprise (HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!) which I haven't uploaded yet.
Okay, too tired to blog. gooooooooooodbye.

Today's a great day, I can feel it in my bones.
It's the kind of day where the sun is toasty and the breeze is cool, where everything takes on a sunshine yellow hue and I can feel my senses prickling alive within my snug little space; perfect for feel good music and feel good books!
Somehow everything seems to fit perfectly today because I spent the morning rolling around in bed reading my new book (chicklit) while eating a warm krispy kreme, and then sometime later I found the loveliest feel good song to suit my mood.
So it was cheery music all afternoon while I slaved over my laundry (handwash!) and hung them out to dry before folding my clothes and packing my closet.
I feel so.. satisfied :)

On Tuesday Jasmine and I caught up and scoured through the shops! Had a really good chat reminiscing about the old squash days and made me mildly nostalgic for the pent-up anxiety, school rivalry and all that... cheering.



















And of course, a lot of time has been spent with my dearest Angela Seeto! Good friends FOREVER xx











































Sean at I on Buddha Fest. I was absolutely petrified on that ferris wheel.






























































SPIDERMAN 3.















I just found the coolest tshirts online and I'm so tempted to click myself into the world of virtual shopping.
But due to some well.. red tape matters, it looks like I'll have more time to ponder whether or not I want those terrific tees.

I am feeling frighteningly disconnected!
Anyway, the past few days have whizzed by in a blur with no pictures because I was simply too lazy.
Other than a traumatic Saturday morning experience with my stats exam, everything else has been rather good.
Tripping through the shops with Sean, Buddha Fest twice: once with Sean on Friday night and another on Sunday with the girls, I terrified myself on the ferris wheel and also heard the cutest renditions of chinese songs!
In other trifling updates, I haven't been able to stop shovelling food into my mouth.

Labour Day holiday today and it was just like how a public holiday should be spent!
We headed to Sean's place and went tripping down memory lane at the playground mucking around, played badminton and tennis, and ate too much for my own good.

Was looking at Michelle's livejournal and couldn't help missing the girls and everything that rolled along with it: food, laughter and conversation of the very best kind :)
Anyway, let's take another trip down memory lane!

#1

Taken at Sue's house one day after school. I can't quite remember when, but I think it was the day we ordered pizza and gorged ourselves silly. I think..?

#2

Hanging out in the VD! I think we were skipping something when we took this. Chinese...?

#3

SLEEPOVER AT SUEEEE'S! Harhar, our study camp days. Jamie's missing from this one, but it was a good night indeed, talking, eating before we studied all day the next day.

#4

Valentine's Day 2005! I loveeee all of you to bits.

#5

NYDC outside Heeren! Our weekly Saturday night outings sitting at either the top level of Lido or eating at the NYDC outside Heeren so we can spy on people. Ha ha.

#6

Arts Fac Retro Night! Swinnnnging Sixties :)

#7

Back when I was skinny, heehee. Somehow I always remember this night, the four of us had dinner at Din Tai Fung and after that I stayed over at Laura's house.

#8

AAgirls love late night walks. Ha ha, I remember we ate sooo much at Sue's house and we were so sick of studying we went for a walk. We told ghost stories and shrieked down the streets.

#9

Post-prom before Momo!

#10

Laura's birthday 2006. Sue and Cass aren't in this picture but I love this photo. I think it's something to do with the fact that we met in ACJC and became such good friends and this photo was taken outside ACJC after we've graduated :)

#11

Us at Loof on my last night in Singapore before heading back to Brisbane and on Rage's birthday. Miss all of you tonnes!

-

I agree with Mich when she said it's so hard to get everyone together nowadays. I don't remember seeing a full picture of all of us in a long, long time because someone is always missing.
Can't wait to see everyone again :)

I don't know why but sometimes I can't help feeling intrigued by strange people, knowing there are a dozen and one loopholes but yet constantly pushing to find out more.
It's funny because while I'm struck by the intrigue of the enigmatic, I can't help but desire to be surrounded by everday, normal people talking about everyday, normal things.
Everything's so alluring but distasteful at the same time; grasping and catching whatever we can, but so terribly undecided.

I can't help but think it's an age issue, after all teenagehood is coming to a close and we're walking into an age where mistakes are no longer dismissed as trifling whims.
It's the age where we can't help but feel we want the best of everything because we've sifted through our fair share of immature mistakes but yet our eyes are still fresh with naivete, and we think it's time for us to chase that dream of a perfect life because we want it, need it and maybe even in our own vanity, deserve it.
In other words, I know what I don't want but I don't know what I want.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.' "
Isaiah 30:21

I pray that I may always walk in Your way and not mine.
Your will not mine be done because that perfect life lies in Your hands because none are perfect but You, Jesus :)

Ever living God
Maker of all the earth
Ever lasting King
Our eternal praise belongs to You
All of the honour
All of the glory to You

You are
Wonderful, marvellous, forever
Beautiful, Prince of Peace,
Faithful One, forever

Take the place of all honour
Take the place above all thrones
Take the place of all power
You are the One
Glorious

I put my trust in You!
Your ways are higher than mine, Your thoughts I cannot fathom, but I put my trust in You.

This is just to show that I'm alive and kicking. Will update soon! Stats exam tomorrow, help. And I'm grumpy...

ok bye.

LOOK AT WHAT I WOKE UP TO THIS MORNING!
















Isn't it so artificially yet naturally beautiful?
I was still rolling around in bed, slipping in and out of slumber this morning and I remember feeling mildly disoriented because I'd dreamt a dream strange and disjointed, and I was praying, asking God for strength, for guidance to do what I have to do.
I remember a sweet peace descending upon me as I remembered God's provision and the how He'd never leave me nor forsake me.
Then I opened one bleary sleep-crusted eye and SAW THIS!

Reminded me of God's sign of the covenant he established between Him and Noah, that never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life; reminded me too of how gracious God was to Noah.
Poetry in motion and aesthetics aside, it was because I'd left a CD exposed on my bedside table and a shaft of sunlight caught the... (whatever you call it)... reflecting a gorgeous rainbow on the ceiling of my room!

The past few weeks have trudged by in a blur, myopic and hazy in my memory.
The last significant memory hovering at the back of my head was Laura coming to Brisbane and everything thing else seems to have melded into a state of wispy amnesia; I barely remember anything.
It makes me feel disconnected, like I've been living a dream.
From the last of my goldfish memory:













































And I finally finished my assignment!
Sometimes when I'm rushing through my work in a frenzied dismissive fashion, I wonder how I've muddled through all my life settling for such... mediocrity.
Makes me mildly ashamed that I lack the admirable tenacity and drive inherent in some people, while I sit shifting around in my comfort zone stirring in mere pipe-dreams.

Okay, I am going to book an appointment with an academic advisor and propel my lazy behind towards something constructive.

I need to get out of commerce. It's killing me.