after seeing Mr Ong's msn nickname very distinctly typed out as MGS v SCGS, 3-2, MGS is C Div Champions (or something along those lines, I can't quite remember), I was filled with very tender nostalgia about MGS.
I was filled with that sudden onrush of pride, very much like a little mommy seeing her kids win prizes, and I wished I was right there in the crowd of supporters screaming We are the champions!! and stomping my feet and clapping my hands and basically indulging in the typical school pride and rara-ness.

anyway, all that nostalgia for our dear MGS had me breaking into an out of tune warble of the school song while having a midnight snack in the kitchen with my housemates.
and I felt very proud, very proud indeed, that I am an MGS girl.

I heard MGS is now painted in shades of grey and I am very, very perturbed by that fact.
I haven't seen it myself, but to me MGS had always been a sweet, homey dollhouse of pinks and blues and the picture of it being grey makes me think of something none other than a jailhouse.

but anyway, the point is, I am missing the camaradarie of good old secondary school and JC and when I'm back in Singapore this winter break, it's going to be a time of wandering through the new and old blocks of MGS, eating red-bowl noodles and mayo chicken, and paying the squash courts a visit, with Mr Koh, Mr Loh, Mr Ong, Miss Tang and MG squashies all included.
and of course not forgetting a visit to dear ACJC for my all time favourite yongtaufoo, a little romp through the happy huts and telling the teachers about my uni experience since I'd be one of the first few to have gone.

ha ha, aww man, I miss those days.

I've come to the conclusion that the best cure for a bad day is retail therapy and verbal carthartic therapy.
after a whole week of immense stressing, a morning of Terrible (I mean that in the worst, stupidest way possible) exam time management and fifteen minutes of non-stop whinging, I'm feeling much better after shopping.

Angie and I headed to the city after our exam to de-stress and have our usual yakkity-yaks over lunch.
the two of us, a little table and three-hours worth of conversation followed by a short little shopping trip.
and I'm very much cheered up (as long as I don't think about the exam)
bumped into Ruth on the way home and it was another little yakkity-yak full of nice girly things.

yknow, I reckon having girly chats and little heart to hearts are one of the nicest things ever.
ever since I came here, it was something I found severely lacking because my favourite, bestest girls aren't around and it was one of the things which made me sooo depressed.
but then, I think I'm gaining some form of it back and it's quite nice really :)

okay, now it's time for me to start reading the background articles for the torts (ugh!) assignment (double ugh! ugh ugh!)..

and I really hope I don't do badly for the contract exam :(

IamstressedIamstressedIamstressedIamstressedIamstressed
IamdepressedIamdepressedIamdepressedIamdepressedIamdepressed

I don't remember feeling this awful about an impending exam.
I can't remember my cases and principles.
I hate my hair.
my cereal tastes like crap.
I have no lunch.
and I'm using some new exfoliating shower foam which Joey recommended and now I smell like a man.
it's a one litre bottle by the way; so I'm going to smell like a man for the next two months.

boohoo.
I am feeling childish and sulky and churlish today.
ok, back to the books.

Hide me now under Your wing
Cover me within Your mighty Hand

I will be still know You are God.

you know when you're no longer a young, fresh, cutesy teenager anymore when someone says to their kid, Say hello to aunty!

-_-

or at least no longer a young, fresh, cutesy teenager in the eyes of others.
but in my mind's eye, I am still a fresh, young and vibrant teen!

granted, the lil kid who had to 'say hello' to me was only 8 months old, so technically in baby to 18-year-old-me terms, I'm the aunty.
I put that in inverted commas because the gurgling baby is still void of proper speech.
but, hello, can't the daddy see that I'm still young?! and jiejie-ish.

anyway despite extreme fatigue and lousy lousy expectations of the day, it runs a warm glow through me thinking about how surprisingly pleasant today turned out.
sleeping at 5am due to restless tossing and turning resurrects the crankiness in me, resulting in multiple grumbles about how lousy my economics tutor is, how the post office line is soooo extreeeeeeemely looooooong, how boring my contract law lecturer is, how I want to go close my eyes and curl up in bed, how I'm stuffed for the contract exam, how I still have to study, how that awful (but funny, only not at my expense) tony mckinnon made me feel like a world-class idiot at my 'personal preference' statement and how I have so many things to do and so little time to do it.

but then, amidst the fatigue-induced grouchiness, I had a very very pleasant day.
a not very productive but entertaining study session in the library cheered me up, a long warm heart to heart with angie outside the law building cheered me up, a steaming plate of home-made chicken rice for dinner cheered me up.

like stalkerfromdownunder (ha ha hellooo!) said, have no expectations and you'll be happier this way.

and it's true in a certain sense, because I'm very much happier today.

this is the typical mid-semester exam situation in 46 Dell Road I've observed.

I'll be huddled in my jammies by the lounge's coffee table/our pseudo dinner table with my law books and notes strewn all over, studying under the glow of table lamps.
and while I pore through principles and cases, David will be in his room studying and humming a whole string of songs with different sound effects like pum pum pum du du du and occasional outbursts of SHE TOOK MY MONEEY!! and FAR OUT!
and over in the little room by the kitchen which is Joey's room, I can hear Joey's constant babble to his girlfriend about their countless issues and friends punctuated by numerous dears (that's how I know he's talking to his girlfriend).
his stream of chatter doesn't quite interrupt my train of thought, but I rather like it amidst the silence of studying.
I won't hear a single sound from Derek while he's studying because he's got his room door shut and we all know he's concentrating hard on his work.
I can't quite hear Connie and Jasmine because their room is furthest away, but I can hear the faint lilt of Connie's music playing and her warble and occasionally their sudden outburst of chatter.

it was during this quiet observation that I realised I do regard them as my surrogate family here.

(I realise I blog incessantly during exam period)

you know how they say the grass is always greener on the other side; well, being the insatiable human beings we all are, I'd say it's a perception we all never fail to exercise.
I don't remember feeling complete and utter satisfaction before in my life.
pleased maybe, happiness maybe, but never satisfied.

when I was younger, I always wanted to be like my sister.
I thought she was one of the prettiest things alive, smart, a good daughter, neat, and basically was everything I was not.
even though I knew I possessed certain good qualities just like everyone does, it never seemed enough and I wanted my sister's too.
I wanted to be everything she was, everything I was, and more.

not only did I want to be like my sister, I always wanted her toys.
her toys were always better than my toys.
her colour pencils always looked better than mine.
I even thought her barbies looked better than mine! (and everyone knows all barbies kinda look the same)
whenever we played, I'd always wait for her to stop playing with her toys then sneakily take it and revel at how much nicer her barbie's hair felt as compared to mine, at much better her colour pencils coloured than mine.

and as I grew older, I still wanted to be her, and I wanted to snitch the good qualities off everyone and have them for myself, because I hated feeling like I didn't match up.
I never went through phases of self-loathing because it is simply not me to do that.
exaggerations of my shortcomings and extreme whinging, maybe, but never to the point that I hated myself.
but even so, I always thought having what others had and I didn't would make myself better.

so I end up wanting everything and being everywhere, even until now.
I entertain little dreams of what ifs;
what if I'd gone to the states as I'd planned right from the age of 14?
what if I'd gone to sydney as I'd planned?
what if I'd remained in singapore?
what if I hadn't gone to ACJC and went to australia like my mom actually considered for a month or so?
what if I hadn't met some people?
what if I had met certain people?

being here in brissy hasn't been the greatest, but it hasn't been the worst.
I'm enjoying myself, but yet I wonder if it could have been better.
being stuck in limbo causes one to sway from one end to another as you constantly doubt and question.
because I'm living in my own life and I know the nitty gritty of it all, everywhere always looks better than where I'm at.

and I know, I just know that if I were anywhere else, I'd feel the exact same way.
I'd feel that somewhere is better than the place that I'm at.
and despite knowing that this is a matter of perception, I can't help but feel that way and wonder if I'd be happier elsewhere.

but one thing He has reminded me today is trust and faith.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:7-8

maybe sleeping earlier is the way to go.
I slept 3hours earlier than my normal bedtime and I woke up in a much cheerier mood.
I even managed to complete two weeks worth of law notes!
having existed in sloth-mode for the last two weeks, the actual exercise of some brain juice and tangible work felt terrific.

the weather is cooling considerably and I can't bear to imagine how I'd feel under layers of clothes.
I detest the cold, despise snow, and loathe chilled aching bones and shivery sensations even more.
even though brissy doesn't get that cold, I know myself well enough to know that I will find it cold.

the coming of winter also marks the season for getting fat (I have a double chin already!).
there's always a constant crave for hot steaming food and the hunger pangs come more frequently.
it's cool now (not cold) and I'm already craving hot food and my hunger pangs are more frequent.

but to tell the truth, I can't wait for the night where we'd have steaming hotpot over our pseudo 'hotpot' the rice cooker.
I'm already planning all the ingredients our poor meagre pockets can afford!

-

something completely random I found


Find your birthday and then find your tree.

Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only) -Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 -Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
D ec 22 (only) - Beech Tree

YOUR TREE (in alphabetical order)

**Apple Tree (Love)** -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, firtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

**Ash Tree (Ambition)** -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

**Beech Tree (Creative)** -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

**Birch Tree (Inspiration)** -- vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

**Cedar Tree (Confidence)** -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

**Chestnut Tree (Honesty)** -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

**Cypress**** Tree (Faithfulness)** -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

**Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness)** -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

**Fig Tree (Sensibility)** -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed,>honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, few sexual relationships, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

**Fir tree (Mysterious)** -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

**Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary)** -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

**Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste)** -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

**Lime Tree (Doubt)** - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, can become a complainer, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

**Maple Tree (Independence of Mind)** -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

**Oak Tree (Brave)** -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on>the ground, person of action.

**Olive Tree (Wisdom)** -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

**Pine Tree (Peacemaker)** -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

**Poplar Tree (Uncertainty)** -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

**Rowan Tree (Sensitivity)** -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

**Walnut Tree (Passion)** -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

**Weeping Willow (Melancholy)** - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh

What kind of tree are you?

I'm the apple tree which is luuuuuuuuuuurve.
I noticed some of the trees have nicer traits than others.

that's not very fair, is it..

I've been sleeping later and later recently, watching back to back episodes of the OC, reading and hearing the echo of my own memories in the dead of the night (or morning more like).
so yesterday, after completing episode 20 of the OC, I read my old archives and it conjured up a longing for my old friend: writing.
I'd almost forgotten how much I loved to write, so much so I'd really forgotten how to write.

because I'd always treasured the way writing gave me release, words used to come easily.
but the past few months seemed to run by a filter; a time where I write for another purpose, and a time where putting certain thoughts into tangible words would seem unnecessary simply because I think it is, even if I want to.

perhaps, I miss that part of me.
I miss that part of me that was in tune with how I felt and what I loved.
because even though writing doesn't change a single thing, I have something to turn to.

my usual security blankets have been removed.
maybe I've come to this realisation ages ago and not merely today.
maybe this realisation comes and goes.
maybe it hits me today because I'd been living in denial and trying desperately to believe that it still exists.
maybe I've been watching too much OC.
and maybe it's this loneliness and isolation from all that was once familiar that makes me feel naked and vulnerable.

and you know, I've come to realise it's very easy to tell people you miss them, but when it is someone you really miss, the words simply don't come.

I am grumpy and frumpy and full of tears and fears
this melancholy angst-ridden teenage life; I wonder if it lessens when you're twenty.

collapsing on your bed straight after dinner because of extreme fatigue produces strange dreams.
I woke up with the sheets all tangled up, clad still in my jeans, with the old crinkled bus tickets I'd dumped on the bed still strewn all over; felt oddly disoriented and..
emo scheamooo..

but then, just a gentle reminder from the shower I had soon after

In troubled times it's You I seek
I put You first that's all I need
I humble all I am all to You

a little song, a little humming, a little reminder from Him above :)

it's time to let the rest go and take all I need.

it's 3 something in the afternoon, I just got home not too long ago and I should be studying but I'm because I feel like

1. watching the remaining episodes of the OC
2. taking a nap

anyway today was dimsum galore!


with the caregroup girls














then we went to Pei's house which has the prettiest garden ever!
look at the lovely statues!



















and a freaking vegetable farm of a ginormous backyard














look at what I plucked from her garden!
















so it was a teary night while watching OC because it was so.. heartbreakingly sad.
it wasn't tragic or anything like that, but sometimes I think it's even more heartbreaking to see two people who've had so much together and still feel so much for each other split simply because they don't seem to be able to work things out.
and seeing Marissa calmly hang up the phone then breaking into tears made me break into tears.

and I've always been on the stand to prowl through every problem because I believe if it means enough to you, you would try to work it out.
but then, there's no I in team and it always takes two hands to clap (ack, excuse the cliche) in every possible situation concerning two people or more.

and in lieu with all the talk about relationships and hearing people's woes, I reckon the good thing you get out of failed relationships is that you learn what to do and what not to do and what you want out of your future relationship.
you learn to give more in certain areas, and hold back in some.
you learn that some responses don't give you the desired result and you learn that certain attitudes should be removed.
you learn to love better, care better and be a better friend and partner.

and through this, I guess I know with my next new relationship, I'd be a better person, a better friend, a better partner, and it'd be getting the best of my love.

so michelle has come and gone :(
but then it's been a great evenful four days nevertheless.

so mich arrived sunday night armed with all the things my mom brought me (I was very very happy) and on Monday we headed to the city!


to meet jasmine and debbie for lunch; just like a mini arts fac reunion


then we headed to the Pancake Manor for dinner; awesome (but extremely tiny) pancakes and crepes with tracy and kelly


and since I have no car, I decided to give mich a taste of the prettiest (but not that convenient) mode of public transport, the CityCat; where we watched the city lights and werewolf moon go by


and not forgetting, lots and lots and lots of photos with my dearest michelle!



and even moooore..


then on Tuesday, we headed down to Gold Coast for some good ol' shopping and the beach!


we met up with my housemates who tried surfing; them boys and mich


trippin' to Surfer's Paradise


went home in the evening for some takeout fish&chips and pie before heading out to the Family for a KlubKandy (what a name..) party

(excuse the dirty mirror)

say hello to a good night out of dancing and adrenaline rushes


Wednesday saw us staying home and cooking my mom's chicken stew except mine tastes nowhere near hers


then it we spent the rest of the time happily vegetating and watching She's the Man before we headed out to dinner at Rosalie with mich's family friend Vania for FISH AND CHIPS (AND SEAFOOD)!!!!


followed by lovely cake and drinks at Little Paris


we drove up to Mount Cootha for a little sightseeing before heading back home.

and Thursday was spent shopping before michelle left :(

today, I went for angie's 18.5 (haha, I find it really cute for some reason) birthday party at Fat Louie's and I played a terrible (think terrible with a capital T and complete with exclamation marks) game of pool and sang abit of karaoke before I headed to han's place for care group.
no pictures because I stupidly forgot my camera.
couldn't go Fridays with them because I am currently very IDless due to my lost wallet and passport and crap.
and I also met a guy there who looks eerily like Jo's boyfriend Hans or something like that.
it was QUITE freaky.

and I realised that David's korean friend Daniel used to know my pretty korean actress!
how exciting is that!!

ohwell, tomorrow it's yumcha in the late morning then straaaaaight for the books the whole day.
and the day after.
and after
and after...

and... after...

tsk, tsk
this is getting really bad.
half an hour of study and I'm already completely sick of it.

on a really happy, happy (and soon to be happier) note,
MICHELLE WILL BE ARRIVING ON THE SUNSHINE STATE (more specifically brissy) IN APPROXIMATELY 9 HOURS!
how exciting is that?
I can just feel the frisson of delight all around because I am so, so stoked.

and I honestly should start getting my arse off my chair and start.. mugging.
I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought about was how I didn't only have a contract law exam, I also have a bloooooming torts assignment to hand up!
and both take up a hefty 40% and 30% of my grade respectively, which is huge.
ginormous.
large.
eeeenormous!
whereby, screwups and muckups are an absolute nono.

so, today will be dedicated to studying because yesterday just disappeared like, poof!
I spent a good half of the day
- playing monopoly
- another good part of it packing my room
- another good part of it fixing dinner (I made risotto last night for the house!)
- and another good two hours watching Paulie (aww! I'm a sucker for kiddy animal shows)
- and another good hour idling online
- and another good hour (or.. more?) jabbering away on the phone (tat called! aww, I miss tat)
- and another good part of the night drifting towards early sunday morn getting my cousin and her friend comfortable in the house (ie. fixing up the bedsheets, getting them water, etc)
- and another good two hours watching She's The Man

and I actually planned to study yesterday.
from the above, I reckon I'm awfully good at wasting time.

yeh,

awfully good, if you get my drift.

today was Joseph's birthday and the house (team yellow for today!) went over to their crib for delish food and a very, very intense and frantic round of Monopoly where David promptly wiped us all out with his blooooming, blue region hotels.
I landed on one of his properties and paid a very hefty and painful sum of $2000, wiping out all my houses and cash.
... and I was bankrupt :(

Good Friday was spent at David's church for some pretty fab performances and service.
then Reuben picked me up for an aimless spin before we decided to head up to Mount Cootha.
it was all dark and winding up the mountain and it reminded me very much of Initial D (so that was my little kick for the night).
anyway, it was awfully pretty up at Mount Cootha except the people at the top seemed to be split into two groups: on the right the make-out couples, on the left the noisy visitors.

the Brisbane lights from Mount Cootha


and last night boasted a round luminous moon which always makes me ache inside somehow


we sat at the carpark bench after and talked for ages which made me miss home heaps because it reminded me of all the late night talks I'd have with different people in the dead of the night and also because I could not stop jabbering away about my family and friends.

popped by his place for pizza and CABLE TELEVISION.
I'm sorry, but I actually managed to watch.. Nickelodeon.
it's been months since I'd watched any channel that's even remotely good and I spent a good hour or so completely glued to the telly.

-

and whether in australia or singapore, some things don't really change much.
when I'm all alone at home and listening to soulful music play and feeling just that little bit lonely, I pack my sunny looking clothes to make myself better.
and that's what I've just done.
my entire room included.
but that's because my room is in serious need of packing; it has been affectionately noted to be the 'landmine'.

I'm missing home terribly much today.
talking to my mom made it heaps worse because she wouldn't stop asking me about whether my room has installed locks, have I studied, yadayadayada, piling on the list of things I've to do and think about.
and I'd say my brain is crammed full with missing home today.

I can't help but replay over in my head what someone said to me a couple of days ago, and how much I'd hate for it to be true.
because you know, there are just some people in your life that you can't bear not being close to.
and you need to know that you'll definitely see them again and always maintain that camaradarie and closeness.

for all the people I'm missing so much





DANIEL CHIA (no photo with you stoops!)

Y for all the love in the world




if the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,

I'd spend the end with you